This Is Why I'm Boycotting Starbucks
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

This Is Why I'm Boycotting Starbucks

Coffee is for waking your brain up, not brainwashing you.

118
This Is Why I'm Boycotting Starbucks
The New York Times

Overpriced coffee is one thing. Misspelling names is one thing. Not having trademark donuts is one thing (if you're that kind of a person).

Brainwashing customers? That's a whole new level of problematic.

Last year was bad enough with Starbucks' war on Christmas. If you're unaware of that whole scandal, Starbucks basically replaced their usual holiday cups with these atrocities in 2015:

I mean come on, plain red holiday cups without a single decorative, Christian icon on it?! The audacity is numbing. Not including Christmas images is a direct stab to the entire holiday spirit. Christmas is the only real holiday of the whole season, after all. Replacing the traditional images of Christmas trees and ornaments that have typically been on Starbucks holiday cups with this plain red war field is clearly an attack on Christmas, and therefore Christianity, and therefore American history, American values, and the very fabric of America itself.

Joshua Feuerstein, hero to all true Americans and savior to anyone who has an inkling of respect for family values, articulated it best when he said that “Starbucks REMOVED CHRISTMAS from their cups because they hate Jesus."

He's completely right; Starbucks has clearly partnered with the Devil in defying Jesus. Without a pretty ornament on their cups, how are we supposed to know where their loyalties truly lie? For all we know, they could even be—*gasp*—Muslim!

Before you get too caught up on that possibility of national treason, though, don't forget that there is more to the story. All of that is only last year's drama.

This year, Starbucks has moved past blatant propaganda against Jesus Christ and onto straight-up political brainwashing.

This year, on November 1st, Starbucks introduced this travesty:

The heinous principle they are promoting?

Unity.

This crime of a container is called the "Unity Cup" and features a wide variety of people all strung together by a singular line, embracing. It was designed by artist Shogo Ota who said he hoped it would demonstrate "stitching people together as a united community." From baristas to friends to farmers to Ota's own mother, all of the figures are connected.

The art itself is mediocre, honestly. The entire design is quite literally just one line—how hard can that be? If Starbucks is going to brainwash their customers with a coffee cup they should at least use some decent drawings.

Forget the silly lines—excuse me, line—for a moment, though. What's more important here is the message that Starbucks is sending: a message of left-wing extremism, radical enough to support the idea of unity between people. Howard Schultz, Chairman and CEO of Starbucks, commented on the purpose of the cup, saying that "during a divisive time in our country, Starbucks wanted to create a symbol of unity as a reminder of our shared values, and the need to be good to each other."

The need to be good to each other? At best, this is some hippie wish-wash about world peace that they're trying to plague us with. At worst, this is an act of war against capitalism, human nature, and the very essence of life as we know it.

Next thing you know, they'll be telling us to pool all of our incomes together to be distributed equally amongst the populous, or suggesting that the whites are not actually a superior race. This idea of unity is as radical as feminism, the Black Lives Matter movement, or liking puppies and ice cream.

Frankly, I just don't understand how a company previously so successful could be dumb enough to make such an alienating business decision, by getting involved in the current election with a stance as partisan and polarizing as unity and kindness.

Luckily, there are still a few human beings left in this sad, sad world who have a little bit of common sense. Those heroes took to Twitter after the release of this new Starbucks cup, and will hopefully start a successful uprising against these corporate (and now political), bourgeoisie tyrants:

Sickening it is, Patrick. Now, it's worth noting that these cups are reported to be temporary, and not this year's actual holiday cups, but the point still stands it simply crosses the line. If anything, producing the cups temporarily at this moment just makes the crime even worse, by directly tying this disgustingly partisan propaganda to the election. My new fave Twitter user thought the same thing:

YAAAASSSSS. You tell 'em, girlfriend!

See, the fact of the matter is that when someone walks into a Starbucks, they expect to be served some delicious coffee. They don't expect their name to be spelled correctly. They don't expect to get a scrumptious, cream-filled donut.

They also don't expect to have radical views pushed upon them as forcefully as through the cups they drink out of.

Shoving this kind of communist-esque rhetoric about unity down our throats—literally—via innocent coffee is unacceptable, and I've consequently decided to boycott Starbucks entirely.

I refuse to let some corporate giant tell me that I should make connections with fellow members of my species, or try to form a sense of unity, or be good to other people. If we let them tell us that, these left-wing radicals will soon be controlling the entirety of our lives, with Starbucks as the divine power and with King George The Third replaced by King Howard The First. You, too, should consider dropping Starbucks "like a hot rock," because let's face it, we need to #MakeAmericaGreatAgain.

Give me disunity, or give me death.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Pexels

As the holiday season draws nearer, many of us find ourselves drawn to the same old Rankin-Bass Christmas specials and the perennial favorite, "A Charlie Brown Christmas." However, I would like to suggest an overlooked alternative, "Arthur's Perfect Christmas." It is a heartfelt, funny, and surprisingly inclusive Christmas special that deserves more recognition.

Keep Reading... Show less
Reclaim Your Weekends From The 'Sunday Scaries' With 'Self-Love Sundays' Instead
Olivia DeLucia

Laid back and taking it easy — sometimes that is the motto we all need after a busy week. Sunday scaries? Yes, they are valid – but you know what else is? A Sunday full of self-love. A lazy Sunday spent doing what you feel needs to be done to ease into the next week. Self-Love Sundays are a guilty pleasure that isn't only essential for our mind, and body, but are also a surprisingly proactive way to devote the upcoming week with a clear mindset.

So, what is a more suitable way to dedicate your week's end than a beautifully, connected playlist to accompany your face masks and journaling? Cheers, to a Self-Love Sunday (and a playlist intertwined with it to match). (Please note: "Sunday Morning" isn't included in this list, due to the obvious, but feel free to blast it anyway, we know you want to).

Keep Reading... Show less
Sunset Girl

The sun rose and peeked through the sheer curtains. Rose’s alarm shrieked. The loud bells caused her phone to jump on the side table. It was time for her to get ready for church. Blindly reaching for her phone, she shut the alarm off and pulled at the covers providing her a cocoon of warmth and tossed them to the side. She swept her bare feet across the bed to touch the cool wooden floor.

Rose softly tiptoed to the corner of the bedroom to grab her clothes dangling on the arm of the bedroom chair. Scooping all of the items of her chosen outfit, she headed to the bathroom hoping that she wouldn’t drop anything.

Round, piercing blue eyes stared back at her in the bathroom mirror. Rose fingered the wrinkles forming around her eyes. So many of them bore signs of laughter and smiling. Slowly dropping her hands, she couldn’t remember the last time she laughed in her home with Tom. Shaking her head as if to erase the negative thoughts, she reached for her makeup bag and went through her regular routine.

Applying her favorite deep rose lipstick, Rose headed downstairs to make her coffee and bagel to take with her to church. The smell of dark-roast coffee swirled in the air as Rose sliced her cinnamon raisin bagel. Hearing the Keurig sputter with the fresh brew, Rose found the interruption of the stillness comforting. The toaster signaled that her bagel was done with a soft pop. It had a delicious golden brown color. Placing the bagel on the counter, she generously spread honey nut flavored cream cheese across both halves. Gathering her bible, notebook, and pens from the side table on the porch she stuffed them into her purse. Purse hanging on her right shoulder she juggled her coffee and bagel in both of her hands as she headed to the garage.

Keep Reading... Show less
Environment

This Holiday Season, Choose To Be Eco-friendly And Reduce Pollution

Many of us have old magazines lying around, fully read and not of much use anymore. However, we can use their bright colors and prints as a stylish and trendy wrapping paper!

1149
Presents

It can be overwhelming to see the detrimental effects of climate change and pollution on the news, from animals dying and forest fires spreading, but there are smaller changes that we can all make to reduce our carbon footprint, and it begins with our gifting season.

On average, Americans throw 25% more trash between Thanksgiving and New Years, which translates to 25 million tons of garbage. That's 1 million extra tons per week.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

This Feeling Hurts

A Poem on Love

2819
Ronny Salerno

This feeling hurts. I must declare

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments