I went to a college party a few nights ago and a boy came up to me and said, “You are literally the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life.” No hesitation I responded, “Wow, you must have not had a very great life then,” and walked away. I know for sure that I am not the only girl that this type of stuff happens too. It’s annoying because that boy definitely expected me to be super flattered and go home with him. Call me a feminist, call me a straight edge, but I am not the type of girl to go home with a boy just because he calls me “pretty.”
Sorry man, but tonight’s not your lucky night. If you’re like me and agree with this, here are some fool proof ways to get those obnoxious boys to leave you alone.
1. “I’m a lesbian”
2. “No hablo ingles”
3. Just stand there, mouth words, and make up
sign language
4. Make eye contact with a straight face, and just stare.
Minimal blinking is encouraged.
5. See how long it takes before he runs the other way.
6. Just walk away, don’t say anything
7. “I’m working on becoming a nun actually”
8. “I don’t kiss before marriage”
9. Point to the biggest guy in the room and say, “That’s my boyfriend”
10. “Let’s get married”
11. “I have herpes”
12. “I have to drop my kid off first”
13. Say, “Are you a virgin?” ~ him - “Why?” ~ you - "for sacrificial reasons"
14. “I’m going to have to ask the dark lord first real quick”
15. When he asks for your number, say “I only take calls, because my messages are broken.”
Then give him the phone number for a gynecologist
16. “I’m going to have to ask my mom first”
17. Scream, just scream
18. Stop drop and roll
19. Make animal noises
20. Play dead
21. “Do you want to play a game?”
**goes in to play patty cake**
22. ‘’I have to change my tampon real quick”
23. **changes in to exorcist voice**
“Nice to meet you”
24.Talk in third person
25. “I hope we can get together... before the aliens come …
*whispers they’re everywhere*
26. ”Pretend you have an imaginary friend
27. “My last boyfriend cheated on me, I’m visiting his grave on Tuesday”
28. Vomit
29. Start sobbing uncontrollably
30. Start singing your words in Opera
31. Laugh uncontrollably
32. Just start singing Little Things by One Direction-
“You still have to squeeze into your jeans, but your perfect to me”
33. Start a mosh pit
34. “I ate my twin in the womb”
35. Hold his hands and attempt to start a
prayer circle
36. “I don’t think Jesus would appreciate this”
37. “Make room for the Holy Spirit”
38. “I’m saving myself for Harry Styles”
39. “Pay for my college tuition and then we’ll talk”
40. Pretend to call your mom in front of him,
“Mom! I think I just met my future husband!”
41. “I think we should name our first kid either Hunter or Claire and our last one either Elizabeth or Zack”
Here are some creative ways to avoid those awkward encounters at college parties.
