Growing up, I played various sports year-round in order to stay active, healthy and social with my community. I participated in Girl Scouts, volunteering and school clubs like student council. I am now in college and have figured out who my real friends are and who I can really trust and rely on. Because of the way I grew up, I have never been considered a “girly-girl,” but I wasn’t necessarily a tom-boy, either. However, it just so happens the friends I am closest to are all boys (with a handful of genuine, beautiful and badass girlfriends I love to death).

Being able to call all of my close friends my family is a daily reminder of why I will never lose myself chasing to be friends with people who do not respect me or make me feel like lesser of a person, less independent. My independence has always carried me through life and has continued to make me challenge myself in every way possible. However, when the independence transformed into an unhealthy dependence on undeserving people, the challenges become less and less productive in accomplishing my goals.

Eventually, I got over the toxic relationships and have now grown back to being close to the people I lost over the last couple of years. They have been there for me through everything, despite the fact I was not the same way back. And yet, that seems hypocritical of me to appreciate from them when it is what I had to escape to get back to being myself, right? Well, maybe. I think that honestly depends on the situation.

Now that I have these friendships back, and have gotten back to being more comfortable in my own skin, my life seems to be falling back into place. Sure, I don’t have that bond with someone that I considered love, understanding it wasn’t meant to be means that when it is, that feeling will be a million times greater. For now, I am perfectly content and utterly in love with the friendships I have. In fact, I realized the other day that all of my boy friends are so much sweeter to have in my life than any boyfriend could be right now. I can count on them 100 percent of the time, and our relationships are open, honest and stress-relieving rather than full of lies, manipulation and anxiety.

My guy friends have shown me the qualities I want in a guy who I can also be head over heels for. Don’t get me wrong, I’d advocate for all of these guys in a heartbeat to inquiring ladies, but I just love them like brothers and that’s exactly why God put them in my life. I’m not worried there is a guy out there for me who is all of those qualities, and more to be that significant other I want in my life.

I cannot say enough about the small group of girls I have remained close with over the years, many since even elementary school. We have always had each other’s’ backs from days on the playground, awkward middle school years and those “stressful” high school years. Who knew we’d be trying to become adults together, and who knew life could be more stressful than high school? You have been there for me through my first love, first heartbreak and many other memories that we have created in our college years. You have all become sisters to me and it is so nice to have the bond that we do because it is one of a kind, and irreplaceable.

Now, this is not all to say my friends replaced my real family members. I can’t thank them enough for putting up with the attitude, tears and sometimes distance I sometimes put on you guys for no reason. I love you guys dearly for it, and I am glad we have grown back to ourselves as well.

Needless to say, there are many people I am thankful for this holiday season. I am thankful for them year-round, but they deserve a little more attention for being who they are for me. I’m glad to have these people back in my life, and I have learned the kind of people I need to keep close to my heart and at the top of my priority list.