Trust me, Your personal boundaries will keep you sane

Trust me, Your personal boundaries will keep you sane

If you keep anything close to you in this lifetime make sure it is your boundaries.

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Personal boundaries are the one thing I struggled with most throughout college. Not that college is a specific time and place for you to realize and have personal boundaries, but for the last few years of your teens and the rest of your twenties, you should start to understand why personal boundaries are important.

If you are unaware of what personal boundaries are they are the things that keep respect between all of your close and/or personal relationships. Boundaries are your list of do's and don't's that should be given out like a pamphlet when you start to build a relationship with someone. They are what keeps people from walking all over you and they are what keeps you feeling like you and your values are respected. They can look like developing trust over time instead of the moment you meet someone. They can sound like, "no" or "I'd rather not". As they feel comfortable for you, they can feel very uncomfortable for others. And this is important to keep in mind when standing strong to your boundaries; The uncomfortable feeling that others feel regarding boundaries that keep you satisfied in life is a personal problem of their own and has nothing to do with you or what you want your life to look like.

One thing that I, and I know many others, have struggled with is staying true to our own boundaries. There are certain things we do not and will not tolerate in our life, even things done by those who we love and adore. Allowing others to cross over your boundaries with no consequences shows them that you, too, have no respect for your boundaries. When you are wondering why someone would say something or do something to you, understand that you have let them cross a line that you should have been stricter about in the first place. And that is a problem that we all have - not voicing our boundaries from the beginning.

Not until the time comes do we say, "I don't like when you do that." When something has happened over and over again and you have been pushed to the point that you feel comfortable to say how you feel. This is what causes you problems and these are problems that you can only blame yourself for. What you allow is what will continue. And over time, you will notice that you have lost track of any and all boundaries and that you are unable to allow healthy, personal boundaries within any close relationship you have. But if you voice your boundaries and you stick by them the way you want others to, then you will keep your sanity in the end. Your relationships will value respect and individualism. You will learn that you are allowed to choose the life that you want to live and you are allowed to choose what is wrong and right in your life, and those who want to be in your life will do so by the rules you have set for them.

Also, when you want your boundaries to be respected you have to respect other's boundaries. But the cool thing with that is that people, like yourself, can walk away from someone if their boundaries conflict with yours.

Cover Image Credit:

Josh Blanton

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Here's What Happens When All Of Your Friends Have Babies

All of my friends back home are married with children. No, really, they are.

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Over the past few months, three of my friends have shared their pregnancy news with me, and I couldn't be more thrilled. Baby news always stirs up a range of emotions for me. I'm excited and crying happy tears (no joke, I started to cry when my best friend told me and showed me her ultrasound).

Being "Auntie Meg" brings me such great joy. You see, I absolutely adore children, especially my friend's kiddos. They can easily brighten up my day with their giggles, love you, and their goodbye kisses & waves. I absolutely love getting to be "Auntie Meg"; it could potentially be my favorite role to fill.

I don't think I've ever loved human beings more than I love these babies. These are kiddos I would do almost anything for; they truly have my whole heart and I couldn't be more thankful for each and every one of them. I've loved getting to watch my friends grow into incredible parents.

I love getting to be one of the biggest cheerleaders for my friends and their kids. Listen, I can't wait for the day when they are older and are asking to come over more and spend time doing fun things with auntie Meg. I can't wait to watch them grow and I can't wait to be able to come alongside them and be a shoulder to cry on and one of the loudest voices cheering them on (Next to mom and dad, of course).

While there is just so much good about your friends growing up and having children of their own, if you are not careful, it can also fuel a person's self-doubt.

It can bring up questions like, "am I good enough?", "what is wrong with me?", "why am I not where they are at?" I would be lying if I said that I have never thought or felt these things, but here's the thing: you are good enough, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and their path is not your path; you will get there when you get there.

Those things are so important to remember in times when you begin to doubt yourself or your worth.

Believe me, you are good enough, there is nothing wrong with you, and that is not the path you need to be on at the moment. This is a great time for you to focus on you and the things you want out of life. What are your goals? What is on your bucket list? Just because you don't have the things your friends have, doesn't make your life any less fulfilled than theirs is. Your life is just as wonderful and fulfilling as theirs is, just in different ways.

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