Trust Me, Your Personal Boundaries Will Keep You Sane

Trust me, Your personal boundaries will keep you sane

If you keep anything close to you in this lifetime make sure it is your boundaries.

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Personal boundaries are the one thing I struggled with most throughout college. Not that college is a specific time and place for you to realize and have personal boundaries, but for the last few years of your teens and the rest of your twenties, you should start to understand why personal boundaries are important.

If you are unaware of what personal boundaries are they are the things that keep respect between all of your close and/or personal relationships. Boundaries are your list of do's and don't's that should be given out like a pamphlet when you start to build a relationship with someone. They are what keeps people from walking all over you and they are what keeps you feeling like you and your values are respected. They can look like developing trust over time instead of the moment you meet someone. They can sound like, "no" or "I'd rather not". As they feel comfortable for you, they can feel very uncomfortable for others. And this is important to keep in mind when standing strong to your boundaries; The uncomfortable feeling that others feel regarding boundaries that keep you satisfied in life is a personal problem of their own and has nothing to do with you or what you want your life to look like.

One thing that I, and I know many others, have struggled with is staying true to our own boundaries. There are certain things we do not and will not tolerate in our life, even things done by those who we love and adore. Allowing others to cross over your boundaries with no consequences shows them that you, too, have no respect for your boundaries. When you are wondering why someone would say something or do something to you, understand that you have let them cross a line that you should have been stricter about in the first place. And that is a problem that we all have - not voicing our boundaries from the beginning.

Not until the time comes do we say, "I don't like when you do that." When something has happened over and over again and you have been pushed to the point that you feel comfortable to say how you feel. This is what causes you problems and these are problems that you can only blame yourself for. What you allow is what will continue. And over time, you will notice that you have lost track of any and all boundaries and that you are unable to allow healthy, personal boundaries within any close relationship you have. But if you voice your boundaries and you stick by them the way you want others to, then you will keep your sanity in the end. Your relationships will value respect and individualism. You will learn that you are allowed to choose the life that you want to live and you are allowed to choose what is wrong and right in your life, and those who want to be in your life will do so by the rules you have set for them.

Also, when you want your boundaries to be respected you have to respect other's boundaries. But the cool thing with that is that people, like yourself, can walk away from someone if their boundaries conflict with yours.

Cover Image Credit:

Josh Blanton

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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To The People Who Don't Respond To Messages In A Timely Fashion...

It's not a personality trait - it's just rude.

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I get it. People are busy, and we shouldn't constantly be on our phones all the time, or else we will inevitably miss the things that are going on all around us. But, it is ignorant to not admit that, even though everyone has many responsibilities and things to get done everyday, we are all very much connected. Social media, text messages, phone calls, emails, and more - we have virtually our entire worlds at our fingertips at any minute of the day.

That is, if the people we reach out to actually bother to respond. My greatest pet peeve is when people let their messages build up to the point where they are days late in their response. Or, even worse, just never bother to respond. No one is that busy, especially if you are still maintaining your Snapchat streaks and liking my Instagram pictures, all while my text from a day and a half ago remains unread.

I am not even asking for a long, well thought out response, either. While that is always very much appreciated, acknowledging the fact that I sent you something, even if it is just to say you are busy and will look into whatever it is later, that is far better than leaving me hanging. If you have time to scroll mindlessly through twitter, you have time to respond to your unanswered emails, phone calls, and texts. Don't tell me you are bad at responding in a timely manner - you choose to not respond, you choose to push it off to read later, and therefore, whether intentionally or not, choose to be rude.

So, to the people who have let their unread messages notification reach a number higher than 10, my message, if you choose to read it, is simple: respond. No response at this point is too late, and if it is, apologize if you actually mean it. This isn't a hard thing to do, and it really does make a difference. The occasional late response with a legit excuse is acceptable, but to be consistently late is to consistently put yourself before anyone else's needs. Everyone has stuff going on, being "busy" and having a long to-do list is not unique to you. But someone actually took time out of their day, their busy schedule, to send you a message. Do them the courtesy of responding in a timely manner, if you want that same sort of respect in return.

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