It seems like every time I hop online to shop, I am bombarded with bodysuits. Bodysuits. Bodysuits everywhere. You can't scroll through Forever21.com without being bombarded by this new trend. Every darty, day long, and party I have gone to in the past semester I have seen a minimum of five girls wearing one of these leotards. don't get me wrong, they look good, but they are so impractical. Trends come and go, some are for everyone, some are not. This one, by far, is not for me. And hey, I gave them a fair shot: I have worn three separate ones out on three separate occasions. Every time, without fail, they sucked.
So please, allow to break down why these contraptions are not conducive to anyone wearing them longer than five seconds. This might be an unpopular opinion, but I dare anyone who has every wore one of these to disagree with these points.
1. Crotch flaps are not comfortable.
The time it takes me to fasten my outfit back up when wearing one of these is too long. Sometimes, I give up and just tuck it in, hoping no one will notice.
2. "Do I wear underwear with this or....?"
Because I honestly don't know the proper undergarments to wear with a bodysuit. Wear anything other than a thong, and it peeks out the side of the butt covering part. Is a bodysuit technically considered underwear? It's a very confusing piece of clothing.
3. They confuse your boyfriend/hookup.
You head back to your apartment, things start getting hot and heavy, clothes start coming off until you are standing there in what resembles your pre-school ballet unitard. He might be semi-perplexed at this point, yet it will only get more perplexing when he discovers there is no real "sexy" way to take of this skin-clinging, crotch fastening piece of cloth. not cute.
4. Tucking in your shirt gets you the same look without spending $$$.
Really, how has no figured this out? If you want to get the "tucked in look" you don't have to buy an entirely new garment; you can just tuck in the shirt you already have. It's cheap, you don't need to go out in public, and you can just lie to people and say that your top is a bodysuit anyway.
5. If you have any sort of butt, your cheeks swallow it up.
By no means, do I consider myself to have an ample rump. But that being said, I'm also no Taylor Swift either. If you have any sort of buttcheeks, the lower half of your suit will be engulfed by your bum, lost in the ether. While women are taught to embrace the wedgie with thongs, this pain is far worse than your average thong wedgie. You'll spend more time than you need to picking it, adjusting, and looking like you're scratching your ass.
6. How are you supposed to pee???
And I thought nothing could be worse than a romper when it came to using the bathroom. But nope; the bodysuit proved me wrong. There are worse garments to go to the bathroom in. Much like rompers, you have a few options when you are in the stall. You can a) completely disrobe or b) pull the cloth to the side and hope it doesn't get on what you are wearing. But with bodysuits, you are more often than not wearing pants or a skirt, unlike a romper that's just one piece of clothing. So, you have to go through all the steps of getting basically naked in a gross public bathroom just to pee. No thank you. I'll pass and stick to pants.
So for anyone questioning whether or not to try this trend out: don't. I already did the dirty work for you and it is not worth it. Not worth the wasted time, not worth the money, and not worth the bathroom drama. Just wait another two months and Kylie Jenner will start wearing some new sh*t, and you can try that out and let me know how it goes.
