My Body Is Not Your Concern

My Body Is Not Your Concern

I ran two miles today and ate a burger, get over it.
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Recently I was told by some meat head that if I just started to workout more, I'd be "WAY more attractive."

Let me just begin by saying, MY BODY IS NOT YOUR CONCERN! Just like your body is not my concern.

Body image with almost anyone can be a touchy subject. Some way or another, people will find flaws in themselves even if you think they look absolutely perfect. We are known for being our own worst enemies when it comes to that. Being a girl that has struggled with body image since middle school it's not the easiest thing to hear comments like this. I can't stand to hear them directed towards other people let alone myself.

You should only be concerned with your body, not someone else's.

If I want to go to the gym, then I will go to the gym. If I want to eat a whole pizza, well...I'm going to eat that whole pizza. My schedule is very time consuming. Between work, school, clubs, and volunteer work, it's rare that I actually get time at home to just relax. Yes, I go to the gym as often as I can and recently I've been able to expand that to sometimes going twice a day.

I am more upset with the fact that people find it completely okay to comment on other peoples gym habits. For all you know, that person you just insulted has been struggling with the last ten pounds for months now. Losing weight and getting in shape is not easy. It takes consistency and time. Yes, I said it. It takes time to get the body you desire and often times you'll still find flaws.

Put yourself in their shoes. How would it feel to hear that "if you just worked out more, I'd probably be more attracted to you." It'd probably be terrible. People spend enough time critiquing themselves, they don't need you to do it for them. I just find it absurd that people still have the audacity to say such things.

Growing up, our parents would often tell us the cliche "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" phrase. Now, while we routinely tell ourselves this later on in life, we also understand it's a huge lie. I have felt physical pain from broken bones and I can without a doubt say, these wounds have healed quicker. The verbal abuse that we face without realizing is what sticks to us the hardest.

I have dated men that told me if I "hit the gym" with them they'd be more attracted. Since when did a relationship become based solely on physical attraction. Don't get me wrong, I am all for couples empowering one another to become the best possible self they can be; however, there is a way to do this without imposing emotional harm on them.

God molded us into the people we are today. He watches over every one of us, including those that find it O.K. to say these sorts of comments. While he probably shakes his head in silence at these moments, he is also encouraging us to ignore such hateful words. He has made us. It would be rude to acknowledge his creations as "less attractive" or "not beautiful."

Just remember, you are beautiful in your own way. If you want to go for a run after reading this, all the more power to you! I will encourage you every step of the way. If you want to go buy tacos with some friends, I find that just as great. Your body is your concern, no one else.

Cover Image Credit: Dr. Sara Gottfried MD

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle – Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying.

What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense.

I've heard it all:

"He was cute, why didn't you like him?"

"You didn't even give him a chance!"

"You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous.

However, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well.

Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault.

If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention a girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs"

Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him.

If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking Snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it.

He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush.

Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling.

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How Incorporating Organization In My Daily Routine Single-Handedly Changed My Life

And how it can structure yours.

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It would be a complete fabrication of the truth if I pretended that my life in any way has been picture perfect. Things are messy, life is messy, and my life becomes an endless cycle of self provoked destruction.

I've had short bursts of motivation as a last expedient to seize control of the downward spiral I have endured. But mostly they have diminished along with any motivation I have left.

None of these short term solutions have yet to salvage my mental, physical, and academic state. SO, as an attempt to overhaul my life, I decided the best way to strive for control, is to organize every aspect of my life.

Yes, this could become unhealthy if I used this tactic as a way to tear myself down or over analyze my accomplishments, or lack thereof. But I try to view my life as something I have a say in while considering that not everything will be perfect or completely satisfy my goals for myself.

To successfully enact this measure, I try to never go into a day unaware of what I must accomplish, what tasks/work I have to attend to, and stocked with a full calendar and set of alarms that prevent me from missing deadlines. Although mildly time-consuming to detail my life in advance, it is greatly beneficially outweighed through the amount of time this tactic saves me.

Recently, I have noticed how much happier I have been, and feel as if my life is back on track and it's future in my hands. This has allowed me to work an upwards of 50 something hours a week, see and manage friends, read and keep up with hobbies, as well as give me peace of mind and time to relax with loved ones.

I am grateful for the role that organization has played in my life and suggest that everyone incorporate some type of underlying structure in their lives, to realize that anything is achievable with proper organizational preparation.


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