“Everything happens for a reason.”
“This could be a blessing in disguise”
“Not everyone you lose is a loss.”
These sayings are cliché, but they do have some truth to them. You may have to live without someone you couldn’t imagine not being in your life. Maybe we are supposed to have our hearts completely shattered to show us how strong we can be. Just remember, it doesn’t matter why they left, it matters how you handle it.
At first, it feels as if you can’t breathe. You can’t wrap your head around why they decided to leave. It doesn’t matter how long you were together or how serious you two were – when someone leaves, it hurts. Something inside of you shuts down and you start to think about everything wrong you could have done. Every fight, every laugh and every other moment you’ve had with them starts to replay in your head. You search for that one moment they started looking at you’re differently.
Unfortunately, we tend to put the blame on ourselves. We get into our own heads, which causes more pain. You’re thinking maybe they might have found someone better or they were just bored with you. The feeling that you lost your one true shot at love fills your body. You feel unwanted, unappreciated and used.
This feeling goes on as long as you let it. If you lie in bed all day thinking about them or constantly stalk their social media, chances are you will feel worse about yourself and about the situation. You have to pick yourself up and remember that there is so much more to life than chasing someone whom no longer wants you.
If they want to leave – let them.
Think about the positives of this situation, rather than the negative. No longer are you with someone who doesn’t value you. You no longer have to worry about that person hurting you ever again. You are free to be who you are and you should take advantage of that. Take advantage of being alone and find what makes you happy. Surround yourself with people who will help you realize it's possible to move on. Focus more on your future, work extra hard in school or with your job. Really use the hurt as motivation to better yourself.
Maybe the person who crushed you will walk back in your life and the timing will be better or both of you have grown up and are more stable. Regardless, you don’t need a relationship to make you happy. Breakups are only as painful as you make them. The sooner you realize you can be happy without the person, the easier it becomes.