As a Black woman, I love black people: our strength, our melanin, our culture, our hair! However, as with all things, there are those things that I don't like so much. I didn't write this from a judgmental place I wrote it from merely an educational standpoint. Brace yourselves people and please read with an open mind.
Black norms that are actually not a thing:
1. Colored People Time
Color people time abbreviated CP or CPT is a negative stereotype perpetuated to justify why African American people are never on time. It is negative because it gives the impression that African-American people have an over relaxed work ethic or simply put are lazy.
Example:
Girl A: “Tanya you know the barbecue started at six? It's 10 pm…”
Girl B: “Oh girl you know how we do I’m just running on CP time."
In short being three hours late to a function or an event is rude. There is no CPT or CP time you were just extremely late.
2. Put it in my mama name
Putting it in my mama name refers to the idea of many American-American people having not so stellar credit, so much so that in order to get items such as a car title or a deed they have to put in their mother's name or even sometimes their in their children's. Many times this is done without the person in question knowing. This can actually destroy someone else’s credit and it is not fair.
Example:
Man A: “Derrick you know can't afford this house you should save until you can …”
Man B: “You know how we do ima just put it in my mama name."
The need for financial literacy in the Black community is very alarming; as of 2015 Black people have a buying power of about one trillion dollars. Target revealed that many African-American people used this buying power to buy luxury items with no asset-building potential in sight. We need to understand the importance of having financial freedom and protecting it in order to pass the knowledge onto our kids and our families.
3. What we say in the house stays in the house
Sexual abuse, pedophilia, and molestation is very taboo in general, however, this is especially so in the Black community. What we say in the house stays in the house is the code of silence. We are taught very young that what goes on in our homes stops right at the door. Young girls are told to protect family monsters and keep quiet, which can harm future generations of young black girls. Instead of handling these family monsters we simply say don’t leave Sarah around the funny cousin or the funny uncle. By doing this we are essentially condoning this behavior and providing a dangerous environment for young women and even young boys.
4. God Heals all
There is an overall misunderstanding of mental health in the Black community; many of us don’t discuss mental health. Depression is known as “the blues," bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are considered punishments from God. Many African-Americans don’t seek help because of socio-economic circumstances, lack of African-American health care professionals, misdiagnosis and mistrust, and the shame and stigma associated with mental health. Something common in our communities is the idea that God heals all; studies even show that African-American people rely more on family, faith, and spirituality for emotional stability rather than healthcare professionals. However, if spiritual leaders are misinformed about mental health they can exacerbate a mental health illness. God does heal all, however, discussing, acknowledging, and seeking legitimate help for mental health will lead to healing.
5. Hook me up
Example:
Man A: “man your new restaurant is slamming the food is slamming the music is lit…soooo hook me up with that bill?”
Man B: “Man this is my business I have to make a living…”
Man A: “Man you a sellout”
Asking for handouts hookups and freebies from our brothers and sisters that own their own businesses but we will give our whole check to Fendi, Ferragamo, and Gucci who don’t care anything about us. We will shout in triumph “let's support black owned businesses!!!” But then will turn around and ask for a hookup. Where they do that at?
6. .0085774738 percent Cherokee
Many of my friends and family members really take pride in the fact that they're some random percentage of Cherokee, some random percentage of Chinese, or some random percentage of Irish. My first issue is that we fail to realize that thanks in part to the African diaspora no one is 100 percent African-American. My second issue is African-Americans use this as a point of pride that they are something other than Black. What's wrong with being just African-American if that's what you are?
7. Let's go to Puerto Rico
Girl A: Girl you see that man over there?
Girl B: He's fine but I want me a Puerto Rican man so my baby can have that good hair and pretty eyes.
I see nothing wrong with mixed children or mixed people, all children are a blessing and love is love there's, nothing wrong with having a preference. Although claiming you have to procreate with a Puerto Rican man or woman or someone who isn't Black so that you can ensure that your child is pretty is actually pretty hurtful and annoying. It comes off as saying because a person or child IS NOT mixed they aren't pretty or beautiful. Secondly, the gene pool is very tricky, your child can look like you and anyone in your family or him and anyone in his family. Because you procreate with Raul or Pedro that does not mean your baby will have good hair or pretty eyes whatever that means.
8. HBCU vs. PWI
There is an ongoing war between African Americans who attend or chose to attend a PWI (publicly white institutions) and African-Americans who attend or chose to attend an HBCU (Historically Black College or University). There's this idea that an HBCU isn't as rigorous as a PWI and in many cases HBCUS are not taken seriously by many African-Americans. "HBCUS are a mess why would you go to Spelman when you can go to Emory?" HBCUs are just as rigorous if not more rigorous than PWIs, besides dealing with everything a college student deals with you also have to factor in the struggle of attending an HBCU; let's be honest. Because I chose to attend an HBCU doesn't mean I could not get into a PWI, it simply means I chose to attend an HBCU. The other side of the debate is that those students who chose to go to a PWI sold out. Because my friend chose to attend a PWI does not mean she isn't as down for the cause as I am. The idea that there's actually a debate about this is really lame. In the end, people do whats best for them, their money, and their circumstances.
