Growing up I was always hit with the comment, "You have long hair for a black girl." It was a comment that I received from many different kinds of people, even those within my own race. This phrase was something I continuously heard all throughout middle and high school, and if we are being honest, my hair was not even that long! Although the stereotype of black women having short hair is something I wish I could say was limited to me, it, unfortunately, was not. I heard these type of comments directed at my friends all of the time, and I couldn't help but wonder why? I did not fully realize the meaning behind these words until I got much older.
As a woman of color with long thick hair, someone was always trying to put their hands in my hair. You were seen as the exception if you were a black woman that had thick healthy hair and also maintained length. Even then, this confused me. All I saw when I looked around were women of color with thick long hair, and I could not see where the divide was coming from. As I matriculated through high school, I too fell into this trap of believing black women were not able to have long hair. I found myself questioning whether or not people were wearing weaves, if that was their real hair, or even if they were a person of mixed heritage. Because if it wasn’t a weave, they had to be mixed right? Whether or not they were able to maintain length, still have healthy hair and be African American. It even got to the point where I started to think differently of those who wore weaves. It was not until I made a big decision, at least for me, to leave behind that mindset.
At the age of 17, I made what I then thought was a tremendous decision, to no longer put relaxers in my hair. With the big chop came the biggest change in my hair that I have ever seen. What I thought was thick before, was even thicker now and that brought up the question of weave all over again. Instead of them being about sew-ins, they were about wigs. Every time a person asks me if this is my hair and I say yes, I get denied the fact that I grew this from my scalp. Every time someone asks me how I maintain my hair, I get shut down because black hair cannot be that "easy" to upkeep.
I am here to tell you that black hair is the most magical thing on the planet. It raises from our scalps because it is our natural crown. It may be unruly in others eyes, but it tells us where we come from. Of all the adversity that black woman have gone through, we will not sit down any longer. Just like our hair, we will reach for the stars and overcome all of our struggles. Our edges will be laid and our mannerisms will be “on fleek.” We will continue to do the great things that have been bestowed upon us, large hair and all. So no, It is not a wig and if it is, that is my secret to tell ... or not.
