A Black Friday Shopping Guide As Told By South Park

A Black Friday Shopping Guide As Told By South Park

Everything you need to know for a flawless Black Friday Experience
170
views

Black Friday is right around the corner and that means utter chaos. That’s why I made this nice, little guide to help you out.

1. The earlier the better.


Make sure to leave dinner early to stand in lines. In fact, skip Thanksgiving dinner altogether. That sale on that flat screen TV that will probably be on a better sale in January, but you want it now, is more important. Plus, there will be leftovers the next day.

2. You're on your own.

When the doors open, make sure to push everyone in front of you. Those people don’t deserve the sale on Victoria Secret bras and undies. Every man for themselves even if that includes trampling people to the death.

3. Get it all.

Grab everything in sight. Doesn’t matter if you don’t need monogrammed napkin holders or that automatic knife that can cut through anything. It’s on sale. And there is no other sale except Black Friday.

4. It's war.

Be ready to fight for your stuff. If there’s one more iPhone X left and it’s between me and you? Be ready to go down.

5. Coffee stop.

After the first mall stop. Be sure to stop at Starbucks for a coffee break. The line may be wrapped around the mall three times, but it’s coffee… from Starbucks. So it’s justified. Plus, the waiting is good practice for next year’s Black Friday.

6. Charge it.

Be sure to charge every purchase to your credit card. I mean, it’s basically free money! You don’t even have to pay it off right away. Just keep on swiping and swiping and swiping! By the time you pay it all, you’ll be ready for the next Black Friday. #CommonSense #Duh

7. Speeding is okay on Black Friday.

While driving to each store/mall, be sure to go as fast as you can. Every car is another person that could be beating you to the last Kate Spade purse in the world. Don’t let them. Do whatever it takes. Don’t even stop for cops; they’ll understand. And if you crash, don’t worry, you can just buy a new one. It is Black Friday after all.

8. Keep on and carry all those bags.

Don’t stop at 2 A.M. That’s for babies. If you’re tired, then drink a red bull or go for coffee. That five-hour energy works wonders too. Caffeine pills too. Or better yet, mix it all together for one, huge, wake up call.

9. Leave the slowpokes.

If your companion is tired. Leave them. Ditch them. Toss them to the wolves. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

10. Show off. And there you have it! Use this, and it will for sure, make your shopping experience much easier. Not to mention, you'll get all your Christmas shopping down. Enjoy!

Cover Image Credit: South Park

Popular Right Now

10 Things To Give Up For Lent Besides A Piece Of Chocolate

While giving up your habit of closet-eating Reese’s cups in honor of the pain Jesus endured is noble, are you really getting anything out of it?
8
views

Lent. Six weeks. 40 long days and nights. 40 days that you’re supposed to give up something of meaning and importance to you in recognition of the 40 days Jesus Christ spent in the desert.

While giving up your habit of closet-eating Reese’s cups or Snickers bars in honor of the pain Jesus endured is noble, are you really getting anything out of it? Yeah you may be cutting a few calories here and there, but after those 40 days are over, are you going to go right back to your secret hiding spot and devour those chocolate covered peanut butter cups that you’ve so badly missed?

Most likely.

After pondering what I’m going to give up for lent this year, I came to the realization that giving up certain foods or drinks really isn’t going to benefit me in the long run. Instead of focusing on the little things, I decided to shift my focus to the bigger picture.

This year for lent, let’s try and give up things that actually matter. Things that negatively influence our lives as well as others.

As this task can be very daunting, I’ve compiled a list of 10 things to give up besides a piece of chocolate:

1. Comparison

Comparing yourself to other people brings nothing but insecurities, jealousy, and self-hate. By stopping yourself from comparing yourself to other people, you’ll start to become more comfortable and confident in yourself.

A small daily change that can lead to permanent results.

2. A social media app

Whether it’s Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc.- going without a social media app for six weeks will help you focus on what’s really important and happening in the moment, rather than what’s happening on a screen.

Our lives have become so consumed with technology that we take for granted the things happening around us. This change will encourage us to be more present.

3. Talking shit about people

Yep, we all do it. Whether it’s the meanest girl in school or your own sibling, we all speak negatively about others behind their backs. This negativity is so unnecessary and does nothing but bring ourselves, and other people, down.

4. Complaining about school

Every morning when I’m awakened by the drilling sound of my alarm there’s nothing more tempting than staying in bed and skipping class.

But then I remind myself that I’m lucky enough to have parents who pay thousands of dollars for my education, and that I get to walk across a stage to accept a college degree in two years.

While taking stats exams and writing papers analyzing Kant’s Categorical Imperative aren’t my favorite past times, I need to remember that education is a gift.

5. Saying “I want to …” and instead start doing

“I want to try this restaurant.” I want to start working out more.” “I want to start eating healthy.” Try that new restaurant that’s been on your bucket list! Get that Planet Fitness membership. And starting eating more vegetables instead of just talking about it.

Actions speak louder than words.

6. Avoiding conversations that you know you need to have

Whether it be with friends, family, or even yourself. Certain subjects can be hard to bring up to those that we love, yet they need to happen. Honesty is key. Even with yourself.

7. Self-criticism

By eliminating the hateful comments you tell yourself when you’re feeling insecure you can open a whole new world of confidence.

When you tell yourself something enough you start to believe it, negative or positive. It’s so easy to replace those negative comments with positive ones.

8. Spending money on things you don’t need

No one needs this advice more than myself. Not only does this dwindle your wallet, this makes the more significant purchases less meaningful. Prioritize your needs and wants.

9. Taking shortcuts

In work, academics, and life in general. By taking shortcuts you’re only cheating yourself. Finish an assignment without googling the answers. Complete a task without asking your friend for help.

Put in a little more effort and take the long way.

10. Ignoring your needs and wants

Lent ultimately leads to Easter, a holiday celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, after he was crucified so we may be forgiven for our sins.

As we are forgiven for our sins, we are able to live happy and healthy lives. Make sure you’re living that happy and healthy life!

Don’t forget to take the time to pay attention to your needs and wants. This will lead to a more positive perspective that you can then spread to those around you.

Yet if you still want to give up that Reese’s cup, go for it. But how big of an impact is that really going to make in the end?

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Top 5 Reasons Amusement Parks Are Amazing

They are where fun happens.
46
views

Where is one place in the world you could go if you had a choice? The beach, your house, a bar, an amusement park? Amusement Parks are marvels of the world. Created for the fun and pastime of people. With tons of activities and marvels intertwined into every ride and food stand, amusement parks draw over 270 million people a year according to learner.org. So, here are the top five reasons that amusement parks are truly a life essential.

5. Engineering

Amusement Parks re purposely ascetically pleasing to look at. Bright lights, laughing sounds of the riders, beautiful colors and the size of the ride captures the attention of many. They are engineering marvels. Amusement park rides are made to keep people safe, while defying what people can do on their own. It keeps everyone coming back time and time again.

4. Adrenaline Rush

Riding to the top of a roller coaster at a slant, then being able to see right over the arch of the hill. The ride stops for a few seconds and you're able to see the view for miles, but also how high up you are and the drastic drop ahead of you. Something inside you keeps you on the edge of your feet. Suddenly, the ride starts up gain and down the hill you go at fast speeds. All of that excitement building up inside, the feeling that keeps people coming back rush on a roller coaster is like no other.

3. Food

When going to an amusement park, it is essential to buy some of the best food the world has to offer. Hot dogs, french fries, smoothies, pretzels and so on. It is a must when visiting an amusement park. Even after a windy ride, food can help ease your queasy stomach .

2. Photo ops

On any vacation, taking pictures is a must. Remembering how much fun you had and reminiscing is what people enjoy post trip. Taking pictures can refresh memories down the line, when you may forget. A reason people like to take pictures is for social media purposes.

1. Escaping the stress of daily life

Society has been increasingly stressful and people try to lessen the load any way they can. Amusement parks are one of the many ways people seek out escaping the stress. It is a way for people to forget, let go and just express yourself. Leaving the tension behind.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Related Content

Facebook Comments