The craziest day of the year happens in steps. Not all will survive. Continue at your risk.

Step 1: Make a plan. Did George Washington cross the Delaware on a whim? I think not.

Step 2: Wake up and make some friends waiting for the stores to open at 4 AM when no one should actually be alive to the world. Smile through the pain of anticipation and lack of sleep.

Step 3: Let the excitement out. This is the moment you've been waiting for. The doors are opening!

Step 4: You have to stop on ALL the floors before anyone else lest they get the good deals.

Step 4B: Sadly, you didn't make it in time.

Step 5: Take a moment. Breathe. Now you're to destroy regular prices.

Step 6: Go for the little deals everyone else is ignoring. It's like taking gum from a fence.

Step 7: It's time to step up your game. Move on up to the big leagues.

Step 8: RUN!! The people on the top floors have lost their minds. Oh, the humanity!!!

Step 8B: On the plus side, you ran right into a v good deal!

Step 9: Time for another break. You're starting to realize this isn't the place for you.

Step 10: Stop by the food court on your way out. You've earned it, fam.

Step 11: Wave goodbye. It's time to go eat Thanksgiving leftovers.

Step 12: Judge the shopping losers on your way home like you weren't one of them 10 minutes ago and don't have a trunk full of deals.

Step 13: YOU DID IT! Now promise yourself you'll never do this again, even though we all know you'll throw out the window for whatever Apple comes out with next year.