When I was 15 years old, I came out as bisexual for the first time to my close friends. In the 3 and half years since then, I've been asked pretty much every question you could imagine about bisexuality and bisexual culture. Most of these questions are normal, and ones that I have no problem answering. However, some questions are private and invasive, and despite my general honest demeanor, I refuse to acknowledge them.
What's worse is the groups of people who make sweeping generalizations and assume that they know everything about me based off of my sexuality. I know that in many aspects, I'm a walking stereotype of gay/queer male culture. However, there are some stereotypes that are simply not true. Here's a list of things that I've personally had people assume about me, and I'm sure that many bi people can relate.
I'm bisexual, but I'm not...
Confused
This is probably the most common misconception about the bisexual community. While it's usually fine to ask someone if they have a preference of guys or girls (most of us do), it's not OK to tell them that they're just "confused" or to "pick a side." It isn't just the straight community that does this, either. Bisexuals will get asked the same question by gay people as well.
In short, please stop saying that we're confused. We know how we feel, thank you very much.
Half Gay, Half Straight, or Just "Secretly Gay"
Seriously, what does "half gay" even mean? How can you only have half of something that makes up a part of your life? Again, we bisexuals perfectly well know how we feel, and we don't need your validation.
Furthermore, we aren't "secretly gay," or using the term bisexual to make coming out to our parents easier. Coming out is hard no matter how you identify, and I would personally only want to do it once. I know there are people who use the term "bisexual" to break the news easier to their parents, and it's honestly none of my business why they do it. All I know is, my sexuality is my business. When I tell you I'm bisexual, I AM BISEXUAL, thank you!
Looking At Your Backside
Just a preface: this doesn't necessarily pertain only to bi people. Gays and lesbians get it too, so I'm speaking out for all members of the community here.
This one just doesn't make sense. I've had guy friends laugh and joke that they should look out when they're near me so they don't catch me trying to make a move on them. It's all fun and games until you realize that there's a small part of them that actually feels that way. I don't personally understand it, though. People seem to think that since I'm attracted to men, I'm attracted to ALL MEN.
Yeah, no. Everyone has a type, and if you don't fall within my criteria, then I won't be interested, sorry. Don't make assumptions. If you wouldn't assume that your straight friends are checking everybody out, then don't assume that we're doing it. It's annoying and rude.
Easy/Unloyal
There seems to be a stigma that since bisexuals are attracted to more than one gender, we have a harder time staying loyal to one particular partner. OR, we take whoever comes our way, no matter what.
THIS. IS. NOT. TRUE.
This is also not fair. We give the same considerations as anyone else when entering a relationship, and we're loyal once we find a partner. If someone isn't loyal, it isn't a judgement of their sexuality. It's a judgement of their character and how they are as a person. There's a huge difference between the two.
In conclusion, please be considerate of what you say when you meet people. This applies to anyone who thinks, feels, or believes different from you. You don't have to agree. What you do have to do is be respectful. Keep your opinions and less than kind thoughts to yourself, and we can all try to get along.
