We've all heard the typical cliches like "College relationships don't work" or "You're too young to find 'the one' when you're in college." Now I can't deny that there are a significant number of people for whom these statements are true, but I always thought that I was not one of them. I've always been relationship-minded. I feel as though everything in my life is in line...except for my love life. The most common issue that I've seen end relationships is people growing apart, hence making it the biggest reason college relationships don't end in a fairytale.

To be perfectly honest, relationships in your early twenties don't work because you haven't had the time to find yourself. There's no other way to say it. This has a lot to do with the way we as a society are growing and maturing as a whole. In past decades, marriage was expected to be directly after college, meaning that college was devoted not only to your studies but finding a suitable spouse who would produce children with you and create the nuclear family.

Now, as typical views on family are changing, we're changing our views on relationships as well. Both men and women are leaving relationships that don't fulfill them in search of happiness. Whereas traditional wives and mothers were often ostracized for attempting to divorce their husbands, not to mention that they often didn't have their own financial resources to leave, today's women and men in less than fulfilling relationships can freely leave relationships without such a constant fear of judgment. There are many religious people who often lament increased divorce levels, but I honestly don't have a problem with them because it means that people are making the choice to be happy.

Without the pressure to find a spouse, college students today have the ability to find themselves. Sure, it's possible to find someone that you want to spend your life with, but don't make them your whole identity. Find yourself independently of anyone else. Find someone else later when you're confident in who you are and what you want out of life. Even the people who seem to know what they want at this age don't know, especially the people that look you straight in the eye and profess their determination for their future. Those are the ones that you should be especially worried about because they're often the most unsure.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't worry about keeping up with other people or having things figured out. Relationships take time, effort, and honesty to come to fruition. Put that effort into yourself first so that you can make a great relationship later if that's what you want.