For as long as I can remember, my biggest strength has always been to love wholeheartedly. To love without the aim of being loved. To give my all to others, even when they don't ask for it. To bring happiness to others or at least give my best attempt to.
The problem with my biggest strength is that it's also my biggest weakness.
If I could give the world all the love it needed, I would. If I could make someone feel better, even when they only make me feel worse, I would. I can easily put my own needs on the back-burner just to meet the needs of others. It's second nature.
To give all the love I am capable of and more. To try and heal someone, even when they don't ask for help. That's what I try to do.
The problem comes when I realize that my love, as much as I can give, is never enough. I can love harder than anyone, yet those I love don't seem to care. I never did notice, until just recently, that maybe those I give the love to don't want it, didn't ask for it.
This huge heart of mine and desire to give everyone everything they want and more, often leads me to getting hurt. And when I get hurt, I question why my love and generosity, isn't enough for them or why they didn't want it. I try to find fault in myself, not realizing that I'm not the one at fault. Some people just aren't ready, some people just can't handle it.
Although I learn time and time again that when I give my all to someone, I will get hurt, I continue to do it. I continue to do it knowing that I'll get hurt eventually.
Yet, even in the midst of hurt and anguish, and my constant thoughts of wondering how much more I could have done for them, I realize that I tried my hardest. I realize that even if it's not what they wanted, they're thankful for it. I was able to give them smiles, laughs, and make them feel loved with the small surprise gifts of things they love. I make them feel heard, comforted, and wanted.
In the midst of the pain, I'm content with the idea that even if I was only able to provide one smile to them or make them feel good at least once, that I did my job. Even if I didn't give all the love the world could ever contain, that I did my best with all the love I do have.
I get a high knowing that I did good for this world, even if it wasn't enough. I feel good knowing that I did my best to give them their all.
I believe that everyone deserves to feel appreciated beyond words and loved in ways they have never been loved before. I believe everyone should feel like the person they're talking to is listening, or that the people they care about, care about their interests and their hobbies. I believe that everyone deserves love without question, an ear to always turn to, a shoulder to cry on, a back that will never turn, a person that always sees the good in them, and an open heart that will never close no matter the pain that was suffered.
I believe I am that person for every one that I have cared about, no matter the pain they have caused me. My back will never turn because my love never dies, sometimes it's just silenced.
My love for others is stronger than any love I could have for myself, and that's what keeps me loving more and more. To love without having to be loved back.
I strive to be the one who loves without boundaries. I am the kind of person that I know I deserve one day.
What others view as a flaw, I consider my biggest strength. I'll continue to be a person with unconditional love, because everybody deserves that person. I believe people deserve it, so I will give it, no matter how I feel in the end.
