Growing up, people told me that one day I’m really going to appreciate having you in my life. I was told that after a certain age, we would be joined at the hip and those silly arguments wouldn’t matter to us anymore. I always laughed at them, not realizing that you would grow to become my best friend.

I hate to admit this but years ago, like every other immature child, I was tired of the constant fighting and some days, I couldn’t wait until you went off to college. The little things made me wish this, those things that you learn to accept and adjust to for your loved ones. I couldn’t wait to have my own bathroom in the mornings, for you to not be critiquing me every step, and for you to stop looking out for me like you were my mother. I realize now that you were only doing these things because you love and care about me.

If I had one wish, it would be to reverse time and do things differently. I wish I would have realized that when everyone else walked away, you would be there. You would be there not because we are family and you have to, but out of the kindness of your heart. You truly are my best friend and I want you to know that all those times that I told you I can’t wait for you to leave were solely out of anger. Truth be told, the distance kills me.

We may say that you are just a text or phone call away but in reality, you are a student enrolled full time at a vigorous school with a competitive field of interests. You are very involved and dedicated to your academics aside from taking part in a sorority. Your jam-packed schedule doesn’t always leave time to facetime, let alone even send me a text. This kills me, but I admire you for your dedication to school and I want you to know that every day I strive to become at least half the person that you are.

I’ll always count down the days until I get to see you and I will always cherish every moment that I am fortunate enough to spend with you. To everybody who is lucky enough to have their big sister at home with them, please know that despite what you think now, you will miss them when they go. For me, please give them an extra hard squeeze when you hug them goodnight because eventually your goodnights will turn into sappy sleep tight texts. When you are both home with no plans, instead of hiding in your own rooms, have a movie night, or go to the mall, go for a hike, etc. One day, you are going to wish they were home to do things with you so do it while you still can.

To my big sister, never doubt if I miss you. I can assure you I do and I’m losing my mind without you. Please know that even though you may not be home, I still observe your every move-even if it means stalking your social media. I will always look up to you and you will always serve as my role model. When school gets tough, please know that I’ll be here to help in whatever way I can. Most of all, know that the day you graduate and get your diploma I will be proud as can be to call you my big sister. You may have been the guinea pig going through everything, but you did a better job than I could ever have.

Thank you for showing me the ropes and being somebody I can look up to, but most of all thank you for proving to me that all those people were right and you really are my best friend.