I have been seeing posts left and right saying that Hollywood gives people the wrong impression of what love should be, and what it looks like. Love is different to every person, and the definition varies slightly, person to person. Love, according to Merriam-Webster, is an unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. That can be used in multiple different contexts, however, we’ll stick with the romantic one for the sake of this article.

In The Notebook, Noah and Allie had a wonderful, (despite how rocky it got at times) relationship. Not all will agree, however, there are aspects of their relationship that aren’t observed today. This movie accurately portrays how a relationship works. There are always going to be petty arguments, stupid fights, and at the end of the day if it is love; a functional and healthy relationship. Although maybe writing a letter a day for a year may be excessive, the symbolism behind it is meaningful. He took an opportunity out of each day, to remember her and the relationship they are attempting to maintain even though she moved away. This is something you don’t see very often anymore; handwritten letters. There’s a certain longing for age-old romantic gestures that most people yearn for in their lifetime and rarely seem to find, and this movie accurately captures what it means to be in a relationship. “In sickness and in health,” Noah remained by Allie’s side as her dementia robbed her of the loveliest years of her lifetime with the love of her life and died next to her in the same bed. Their love was so strong, and so everlasting, that no one could separate them, not even the cunning hands of death.

In Cinderella, she and her prince live drastically different lives, and he didn’t let the rags she wore, or the nasty step-relatives get in the way of their relationship. He saw the uniqueness in her, and realized that she was special, and someone that he could genuinely see himself spending the rest of his life with. Although requiring a shoe as identification and confirmation that it was her, is a bit far-fetched and unrealistic, however, the premise that he could look beyond her cinder covered face and see the kind-hearted woman underneath is admirable. Nowadays, people must have so many credentials, and things to offer in a relationship, to be even remotely qualified or considered to be a potential dating candidate. Getting in a relationship among today’s terms is almost like applying for the job, but instead of rejection, you get that as well as a possibly broken heart. This gave way to online dating sites like Tinder, Christian-Mingle, and Farmers Only.

In Beauty and the Beast, a classic tale as old as time, Belle falls in love with her captor, the Beast. Although this is a classic case of Stockholm Syndrome, and bestiality, the relationship that transpires between the two is undeniable. They threw snowballs at each other, had candle-lit dinners and talked about themselves for hours, and just remained themselves. The authenticity, the genuineness, and the originality of this relationship is what makes this movie so special. It doesn’t matter what you look like, it’s what is on the inside that matters. It doesn’t matter if you appear to be an ugly and wicked witch of the West, you can be a rose-bearing angel on the inside with the capabilities to transform a prince into a hideous beast for not accepting a kind gesture. The moral of the story is to fall in love with the person, not what they are, and what they represent. You love them wholeheartedly, and for who they are. I think this is an aspect of relationships that couples should truly aspire for. Most often, I see people in relationships changing themselves for the wrong reasons, just to please the other person, and they leave the relationship with pieces of themselves missing, and in the wrong place.

I believe that not all relationships portrayed on the big screen are necessarily all wrong, and bad influences on their viewers. A relationship is different for each person. Some people want the strawberry milkshakes at a diner for lunch, and dancing at the bowling alley, and going to a fair afterwards on a summer night kind of like a mesh between Grease and The Notebook. Some people like staying in and watching a movie, while falling asleep cuddled up together. Some couples want a litter of cats and dogs to take care of instead of having children. There is no band-aid fix, one-size-fits-all formula for how to make a relationship work. There’s no one perfect model to sculpt your relationship around, precisely because it is yours, and not anyone else’s. Make your relationship the way you want it to be, and maybe incorporate some elements from movies, or don’t, that’s the beauty, and the beast of it.