In the wake of the Brangelina divorce (or #Brangelexit, as some are referring to it as), the internet has relished in the opportunity for clever, punny, and even hurtful "jokes" about the breakup of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I have scoured the darkest depths of the World Wide Web (or maybe I just used Twitter) in order to find and compile for you all the best of the worst jokes about Brad and Angie's divorce...
DISCLAIMER: I do not mean this in any way to be insensitive to the pain that the Jolie-Pitt family is experiencing due to this divorce. I am fully aware that the lives of their children will never be the same after this, and I pray that they will be able to escape from this tragedy as unharmed as possible. That being said, this compilation is for purely comedic purposes. I do not claim to find humor in the family's pain or to know the truth about the reasons for the divorce. All of these tweets and comments are from the minds of others, and I did not think up any of them.
1. “Honestly, all this hysteria over #Brangelina, it’s just the Pitts.” — @rorybremner, Twitter
Ha. How punny. So clever. Wow.
2. “BREAKING NEWS: I’ve consulted my extensive army of #Brangelina close friends & insiders - and still don’t have a clue what really happened.” — @piersmorgan, Twitter
If Piers Morgan can't figure it out, then doesn’t this mean we should ALL give up?
3. “#brangelina was the last straw. Love is cancelled, as a matter of fact 2016 is cancelled. Wake me up when it’s january 1st, 2017.” — @unsmokable, Twitter
Why does this remind me of a Green Day song?
4. “There were rumors that part of the problem was the Brad was allegedly drinking and smoking too much weed. I wonder why he needed to self-medicate. Maybe because he could have been spending the last 12 years at Lake Como hanging out with George Clooney and Matt Damon, instead of being stuck in a house with 85 kids speaking 15 different languages.” — Chelsea Handler on her Netflix show, “Chelsea”
Chelsea Handler and Jennifer Aniston are best friends, so I guess it also makes sense that Chelsea referred to Angie as a "lunatic."
5. “Apparently the reason they’re getting divorced is because [Angie] talked about Fight Club, and [Pitt] specifically asked her not to do that.” — Jimmy Kimmel, “Jimmy Kimmel Live”
YOU. DO. NOT. TALK. ABOUT. FIGHT. CLUB.
6. “A custody battle over 323 kids should be interesting. #Brangelina” — @SethGoodtime, Twitter
This would be a pretty interesting reality show, actually.
7. “Angelina Jolie has reportedly filed for divorce from Brad Pitt. Said one observer, ‘So no one told you life was gonna be this way.…’” — Seth Meyers, “Late Night With Seth Meyers”
*clap clap clap clap*
8. “The big story today is celebrity news, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting a divorce. They’ll share custody 50-50: he’ll take 50 kids, she’ll take the other 50.” — Conan O’Brien, “Conan”
Only A BIT of an exaggeration...
9. “But this breakup couldn’t come at a worse time. In the face of a Donald Trump presidency, Brad and Angelina’s marriage was the last hope for immigrants to be welcomed into this country.” — James Corden, “The Late Late Show with James Corden”
This may cross the line, but it's James Corden, so does the line even exist?
