New York City. It’s the center of the universe, and it comes with its own rules. You know that saying, “Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet?” Not here. That’s because until proven otherwise, anyone walking down the street is most likely a crazy person. Even you if do everything right, like don't look anyone in the eye, or cross the street when you sense it’s necessary to avoid someone, you will encounter at least one crazy person a day who will probably shout obscenities at you or make you second guess yourself and ask, "Wait, did that actually just happen?” But it’s okay, it’s just a typical day in New York. If you’re lucky, they will leave you not only with a lingering odor in their wake, but some inspiring words of wisdom for the rest of your day, and maybe your life. Here are some of my personal favorite things I’ve heard during my time here from the Crazies, that have actually inspired me personally. Maybe I should be concerned that I find these so applicable and relatable to my life.
1. As I’m walking to the train one morning from my apartment:
“Hey, I be seeing you. You keep doin’ you, girl”
A homeless man who hangs out on my street I’ve never noticed before said this to me one morning. Either he’s been watching me or I’m putting off a vibe. Hopefully the latter.
2. Crazy man on the train preaching to everyone in the car:
“REMEMBER EVERYONE, SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE! IT'S THE ONLY WAY!”
Not going to lie, this guy’s onto something….
3. Lady on the street corner very matter-of-factly says as I walk by:
“Sometimes you just gotta make a deal with the Devil.”
RT homegirl RT… as all of my life choices flash by.
4. Man sitting on a bench announces to Central Park:
“Watch out! Some of you are imposters!”
Honestly, this is probably true. Aren't so many of us imposters in our own right?
5. On the L train on the way back from Brooklyn; arguably some of the best people watching in the city:
“Are you watching your TV or is your TV watching you?.... That’s what that red button is for….”
6. Panhandler says to another man walking by:
“Watch out! You might get someone pregnant!”
Tried and true life advice.
7. A guy stoned out of his mind in Sheep’s Meadow:
“Sustenance is not enough!! I NEED A SNACK!”
Sometime you need more than the sustenance of life to live off of. May I suggest chips and guac for the soul?
8. From my friend's Italian grandmother:
"You have to be bad to be good."
That validates a lot for me.
9. From a guy who bought Mexican food on the street corner:
"I swear to god if there isn't any guac in this bag things ain't gonna work for me."
THIS. I AM WITH YOU, SIR.
10. And my personal favorite... from a character who rides the 1 line and says this to everyone all day:
“I am homeless and I am out of work, and that is a bad combination. So I am selling these candies. They are very good. Have a nice day.
Also, I have something to add. Do not vote for Donald Trump, because he is an asshole. And if you vote for him, that makes you an asshole. Remember, if you vote for Donald Trump, black or white, we will all suffer. Have a nice day.”
I’d vote for this man for president over Donald Trump any day. Have a nice day.
