For spring break I went on a mission trip to Honduras. It was a beautiful, unforgettable experience. While on this mission trip, a missionary told me something that really stood out to me. She said, “We are human beings not human doings”. At the time, I did not know the kind of impact it would have on me once I got back to the United States, but I am starting to realize the full affect of that saying.

It is hard to see friends hurt. People try time and time again to make their friends feel better. You might buy them food (which is never a bad idea), watch movies with them, take them somewhere, give them some inspirational quotes to read, send them some nice texts, or give them great advice. I could drive myself crazy trying to come up with new ways to help friends when they are going through something. It’s been particularly difficult this year. I have tried over and over to make friends feel better, especially friends who have been dealing with the same things for a while. This makes it extremely hard because it feels like I am running out of ways to make it better. I feel as if I sound like a broken record. On the bad days, I do not always know what to say anymore. I do not know what further actions to take. This is where that saying comes in handy. We are human beings, not human doings. There is only so much I can do for my friends. Ultimately, I cannot take away their pain. Only they can choose to take away their pain. They are the ones that have to decide what the next steps are in their healing process. God is the one that can heal them. Yes, there are so many things I can do to make their healing process easier and brighten up their days and I will continue to do those things. However, the main thing I need to do is to be there for them. Nothing I do will fix their problem. But if I continue to be there through the tough times, good times, bad times, confusing times, and every other kind of time they may have in their lives, then I have done my job. Do not get me wrong, doing things for friends is amazing and people shouldn’t stop. I will never stop using food to cheer my friends up, or stop trying to give them advice, or stop making them cinnamon rolls and coffee in the mornings. I will never stop doing things for them.

My point is, if you have a friend in pain you have to come to the reality that you cannot ultimately take their inner pain away. But you can be there for them through it all. That is what they will really remember in the end, that you were there for them through your small actions. And on the days where you feel that you cannot do anything for them, you can simply be with them and that’s okay. It is not easy to see someone you care about so much go through something so hard, but they will get through it because they have someone to be with them through their healing process. A little help from you (along with some Dr. Pepper) and a lot of help from God will go a long way.