2019 was one of those years, where everything just runs together. You know what I mean?

Started the year off with my fiancé but my side, is against the world. Doing house renovations, building our wedding never from the ground up. Taking each step with our future in our minds.

Fast forward a few months, Jason went on his bachelor weekend, I hung out with my best friend and future sister in law.

The next month. I went on my bachelorette weekend. Drank WAY to much (That’s what bachelorette weekends are for, right)

We got a new puppy, a new car. All while still doing home renovations and fixing the barn...

Almost October right, time to finally Say “I Do” October 26th we became one. All that waiting was finally worth it! We had a absolutely beautiful venue, family and friends. And perfect weather! The following day we left for our honeymoon. Anna Maria Island is amazing, you should go! Had the best time for a week, sleep late everyday, drank, hung out on the beach, watched the sun set... It was honestly the best.

November hits, and this is where 2019 broke me.

Getting a little personal here, I was never late when it come to my period. I was over 2 weeks, but we were married so I didn’t freak. We took 4 test, all were positive! We told close family that we were expecting, they couldn’t be happier. The pregnancy hormones definitely kicked my butt. I was sleepy and felt sick every single day. But I was happy about it!

After Thanksgiving we went to the beach with my parents, mom was so excited about being a grandma. That was pretty much all she talked about. Shopping all weekend, guys listened to Bluegrass.

Sunday we woke up and were headed home. I went to pee, and all I could see was red.

After a trip to the hospital, they told me not to freak, to go see my OB as soon as I can. The next Tuesday, my OB fit me in... I heard the words I never wanted to hear “I’m sorry, we didn’t detect the pregnancy hormone. I’m afraid you have lost the baby.”

I broke that day. December 3rd is a day I will never forget. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and feel sorry for myself. I was angry. Angry at myself, and angry at God. Why did he take my baby. I did everything I was supposed to. I follow him, why me?

My husband played the song “Just Be Held” and I lost it, I just wanted my baby.

I get messages from God on my phone, the 1st one I got after our miscarriage was “I’ve heard your prayers. I’m working on your life.” The next was “2020 will be your year, I promise”

After those messages, I know God had a plan for my baby and myself and husband. He will bless us with a beautiful rainbow baby when he thinks we are ready.

For now, our little Turkey is watching over us, and asking God to give him/her a brother or sister....

202 will be my year.