When we parted ways, we promised we'd stick together just like we always had. But somehow that promise wasn't as strong as we thought. Maybe we were best friends because we spent five days a week together. Maybe because we were all in the same clubs and liked the same things. Once all that faded away, so did our friendship. It was a slow demise that I didn't want to happen but was seemingly inevitable.
I know you're busy and I don't blame you; I am too. You deserve your own lives, your own interests, and your own hobbies. I know how much they mean to you. And I want my own life too; my own school, my own clubs with my own friends who are just mine. But even with everything I've done and the friends I've made, I never once forgot about you guys. I think about you on your birthday. Or when I'm shopping and I see something in a store I know you'd love.
Thanks to Instagram mostly, I see you having fun. With other friends, with each other. You love them, take pictures of them, spend time with them just like we used to. I won't even try to lie and say it doesn't hurt. Seeing the people you love start to love other people isn't easy, whether it's romantically or otherwise. All the energy you once put into us just isn't there anymore. We hardly see each other. We never talk. It makes me miss the days where we spent hours upon hours together and the days I complained about getting hundreds of texts in our group chat.
It especially hurts when I know you go out and catch up with each other and just don't invite me. Maybe it's an oversight. I don't know. But it makes me feel annoying. Like I was the friend making all the plans or inviting myself, so I was just there. Like I'm not important enough to catch up with, or I'm just not worth inviting because I'll probably wind up talking the whole time. It really hurts. And again, maybe it's not on purpose. But it sure feels like it.
I have no hard feelings against you. You helped me through so much, whether it was boys, clothes, or whatever hardships our high school selves stumbled upon. I will always have a love in my heart for you. But my heart also wonders why you forgot me when we used to mean so much to each other. Or at least I thought we did.
