(Trigger warning: gun violence)

Yesterday at 4:00 pm, I got a text from my best friend, J*, that I could have never anticipated or prepared myself to read. All it said was, “There is a shooting at the mall. I am here locked in Bath and Body Works." I was at my mom's house, visiting with my family when I got the text. I honestly hardly processed what she had said, and didn't quite know how to even respond. I asked if she was okay, to which she said, “I think I'm safe but I don't know if they've got him yet."

I stayed surprisingly calm. I mentioned to my mom what was going on, but neither of us knew what we could say or do in that moment. I knew that J was at the mall with her boyfriend, M*, so she wasn't there alone. I didn't want to bother her with texts asking for updates since I realized that she likely was filling in her own parents about what was going on. I'm originally from Lexington, but her own mom lives states away, and I knew that I wouldn't be at the top of her mind as she was scared for her own life. If she said she thought she was safe, I would take her word for it. After about 30 minutes, I still hadn't received any new word from her, and local news coverage of the events didn't offer any useful information. By that point, I was really starting to worry. The worst part was knowing that I couldn't do anything to help. I felt useless and confused, and for as much as I recognized she was probably okay, I couldn't help but start to consider the worst.

About an hour after the first texts, J told me that she and M had been escorted out of the mall by police and that she was headed home.

What I didn't know at first, but found out later, is that they were only about 20 feet away from the gunshots. She said that having never heard gunshots in real life before, she didn't even know what was happening when she heard the first one. It was so loud, she initially thought a whole wall of candles had fallen before she registered what was happening. She and M were directed—along with others who had run into the store after hearing the shots—to a storage room behind the store, where they would be safer. Although they're physically okay, they're both emotionally shaken (understandably). The hardest part for the two of them to process afterward was why shots had been fired in the first place, and what the intentions of the shooter had been. Not knowing whether the attack was targeted or meant to harm at random left many of their other questions open to the worst possibilities of the imagination.

Luckily, some details of the investigation have been released to the public so far. What is known is that Kenneth Wayne Bottoms Jr, the apparently intended target of the shots, was pronounced dead late last night after being taken to the hospital for the gunshot to his head. He was only 17 years old. Two other people— a 17-year-old female and a 41-year-old male— were also injured in the shooting, though they seem to not be related to the altercation that took place.

Two other teenagers have been arrested and charged with tampering with evidence at the scene as the shooting unfolded, and it is believed that they both knew Bottoms. Local police have said it is possible that the three of them may have some kind of personal connection to the shooter, which would explain the seemingly targeted nature of the attack.

The shooter himself fled the scene and has not yet been arrested. The identity of the shooter has not been released to the public yet, and it is unclear whether the police know exactly who they are looking for.

There are some theories as to what exactly happened, but because the investigation is still unfolding, most of what's being said right now is just speculation. However, people do seem to believe that a separate shooting, which led to the death of a recent high school graduate in Lexington last week, is related to yesterday's shooting.

Regardless of the infinite number of “what if's" J, M, and I may have, I am comforted in knowing that they came out unscathed. My heart hurts for those whose loved ones don't have that same comfort, and for all of the unanswered questions. I hurt for anyone dealing with trauma because of what happened, whether it be from the shock of the gunfire to the fear of sprinting to someplace safe, or even from the anxiety of being hidden away in close proximity to others during COVID, sacrificing one underlying aspect of safety for another, much more pressing one.

What I do know is this: Kenneth Bottoms Jr. is the third teenager in my hometown to be killed by gun violence in August alone. But this is the first death I'm hearing of. It's the first death of a young black man that I can recall taking up major airways in the state since I don't know when. Had this not have happened in such a public area— largely white and largely rooted in privilege—it could very well have been just another homicide statistic quickly brushed over in the nightly news. We must do better. As with COVID and climate change and systemic racism and Yemen and Palestine and Muslim concentration camps in China, we cannot only care about tragedies when we see them firsthand. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We as a country must do better to provide the resources that BIPOC and other historically marginalized communities need to overcome the injustices they have been subjected to. We must do so not only to keep them from danger but to allow them to thrive.

Note: * denotes name changed for sake of anonymity