Just a few days ago, I received one of the craziest messages I have ever received in my life. My lifelong friend, the girl I grew up with, the girl I shared every personal detail with, and cried to when my boobs were growing in, told me something I will never forget.
Uuuuuuuhhhmmmmmm.... Yes?
My automatic response in my head, was to sarcastically say "No, you're gross, ew," but then I remembered that we were messaging, and not actually talking, so I sent her my honest opinion on the situation.
If you know how Facebook Messenger works, then you know that I'm the blue, and he is the gray. I say he because that's what he wishes to be called. When I started trying to understand the life of someone who is trans, I began comparing it to that of a small child.
As a child, I liked to be called Caiti. I felt comfortable as Caiti. I told my friends, my family, my teachers, and anyone else in my life directly, that my name was Caiti. They eventually got around to calling me Caiti more frequently, and soon, that was the name everyone knew me by. I was no longer Caitlin.
To my friends that may be a little bit more close-minded than others: it's hard to understand not being comfortable in the body you were born in, the body that God gave you. However, if changes weren't supposed to happen, then we wouldn't have plastic surgeons or tattoo artists or cosmetologists. All of the people in these fields change our appearance to make us what we want to be.
If someone isn't comfortable as a man or a woman, they should be able to change that without scrutiny, or judgement. They should be able to tell their friends and family that while they had been raised one way, they don't want to go outside unless they are someone else.
It's not about dressing up as another person for the day, its about completely changing a lifestyle. For many women that wish to be male, they get what's known as top surgery. This may include a bilateral mastectomy and male chest reconstruction. Out of all the pictures I've seen on Instagram of before and afters; you can literally feel the happiness that's brought to these people when they're finally allowed to be who they want to be.
I say, "who am I to stand in the way of that happiness?" It's the same look on a mother's face after giving birth. "How did I make something so beautiful?" is what I've heard many moms say they thought. The thoughts on people's faces who are FTM (female to male), is this: "This is who I was meant to be."
In short, my best friend, the person I told stories to, and shared a bed with, and giggled with, and had genuine memories with, is not gone. He is still here. He will forevermore be known to me as male. If I can look at someone I've known for 10 years, and say "You're a male now. Your preferred pronouns are he, him, and his", and accept it. Then, why do others have so many issues with it? Why can't we love people for who they want to be? And why do we have to put so many people down for wanting to be happy?
I love my best friend. He is a wonderful human being, and while he wasn't born a male, he is still my friend. He is still someone's offspring, and someone's sibling. He just wishes to be a man, and I know I will love this person just as much as the last, because he's still the same person. He's just a dude.
