I use this word very leniently. Lost. No you didn't die, and you aren't missing, but I feel like you are something that I lost along the way.

Let's start at the beginning. Five years old, our smiling little faces. We were inseparable from the moment we first met. We did everything together, I mean EVERYTHING. You were there through some of the hardest parts of my life, I always had a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, and somebody to laugh with. My family was yours and yours was mine. We shared wardrobes and honestly you still probably have some of my clothes.

As I write this, I realize just how much a miss you. Our code names, inside jokes, trips, journeys, and most of all our friendship. But not everything is meant to last forever.

It hurts me to say that our friendship isn't what it used to be. When we were younger we would talk about our entire future together, but we grew up. We went down different paths and chose different lifestyles. But that's okay. That's how life is supposed to be, you are supposed to grow up and decide who you are, but it doesn't make it any easier.

For a while, I didn't understand, why we said goodbye. But now I am starting to. Although we never said goodbye physically, I think we both made that mutual understanding that our paths were no longer headed in the same direction. And it sucks, but that's just the way it is.

We thought we had it all. We had the whole world ahead of us. We were going to live together, and our kids were going to be best friends. We were going to be each other's maid of honor, and our children's godparents. But fate took and turn and God had another plan. Something you and I can both agree on is we never know where God's plan will lead us, but you have to trust. While I'm trusting him, it doesn't stop me from missing you.

I don't have to use names because you know who you are. And I hope you know how important you will always be to me. Your friendship helped shape me into who I am. I learned so much from you and I hope you can say the same thing about me. When I picture my childhood, I picture you, because you are in 90 percent of my memories.

I think about you a lot. How are you doing? What are you doing? I wish you the best, I really do. I want you to have everything because you truly deserve it. You were my first best friend, and you will always have such a special place in my heart. You taught me what a good, healthy friendship should be. And my dear, sweet girl, I will always love you for all that you are. I am always a phone call away.