When I was 18 years old, my best friend for the past 14 years moved away to go to her dream college. No one warned me about how it would feel, how hard it would be, or how to deal with it. No one prepared me for having the person that has been the closest to me for most of my life living an hour of way instead of down the street would be a crazy adjustment and some days would absolutely suck. These are the 10 things I learned and how I dealt with them.
1. It will feel like you may have lost an arm.
You will feel absolutely lost and completely clueless for a while. You will adjust to the absence but it will take quite a while. Wandering through life wondering who will now accompany you to late night McDonald's runs and who will hold you when you cry over dumb boys. (Don't worry, you will get the hang of this.)
2. Life will be extremely boring and incredibly lonely for a little bit.
Again, this is just an adjustment period and you will come out of it. Don't stress about being completely occupied at all time. Your right-hand man is gone and it's okay to mourn that loss. Do try to find other things to do to keep at least a little bit busy while your buddy is gone.
3. Your friendship dynamic will change.
This is inevitable. It will be hard to adjust to not seeing that person every day, or even talking to them every day. Remember: friendship does not equal constant contact, and that is perfectly okay. Just remember that friendships are a two way street and both parties have to participate if you want the friendship to last.
4. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
You may hear this all the time but it will never hit you how real it is until you hug your best friend for the first time in 6 months. The distance will make the little time you can spend with the other person that much more special. Counting down the days until the next time you can see each other will probably become a regular part of your conversations.
5. You will grow to appreciate FaceTime, Skype, Snapchat, Timehop, and all other forms of social media so much more.
Whether it is a 2 a.m FaceTime call because a boy broke your heart or a 2 minute long Snapchat complaining about work, you will grow to love these useful tools that we have access to already. These may become your main forms of communication and that is totally okay. Also, when you see a picture on Timehop from 6 years ago, you will always tear up. Prepare for that.
6. You will make new friends.
This is a two part point. You will make new friends at home when your friend leaves. That is okay. Never ever feel guilty for that. Your long-distance friend will also make new friends. If you are lucky, there will be some overlap between the two. (I can speak from personal experience that I have met some of the nicest people through my distance friend!) Do not feel like you are being replaced, or that you are replacing them. You both know that would be impossible. Do not get jealous and accept these new people into your life with open arms. Wonderful friendships can form this way.
7. You will adjust.
Just like your long-distance friend will adjust to their new town, you will adjust to your town without them in it. Again, this is incredibly difficult and I never thought that I would get used to it. (I did!) This does not mean that I do not miss my friend terribly, but I know that she is just a FaceTime away at all times.
8. You will settle into a new routine.
This may involve doing things with another friend. (We already covered this. Remember: it's totally okay!) It will also involve FaceTime dates, Snapchat streaks, handwriting letters, tagging them in cheap Facebook memes, etc. This routine will develop naturally, do not force it.
9. You will notice the effort a friendship takes, especially a long distance one.
This is a great thing that happens. You will notice how much you have to go out of your way to talk to your long-distance friend regularly. (Not a bad thing!) This brought my attention to how important she is to me. It helped me value our friendship that much more. I would imagine she felt the same way. This carried over into other relationships in my life. If trying is too much of an effort, then are they really necessity in my life?
10. You will still miss them like crazy every single day.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss my bff. I have no tips on how to cope with this because 2+ years later and I still haven't the hang of it.
If a friend is moving away, it is most likely for an exciting reason. (College, job, bigger city, or even love.) Keep in mind that the move is probably a great thing for them. Remember to be proud of them and tell them often. (A pat on the back may be just what they need at the end of the day.) Bear in mind that moving away is harder than staying at home without them. They definitely have the harder end of the deal. Be patient and be loving to them. Reassure them as often as necessary and be their biggest fan. It will be hard but your friendship can survive this.
