To My Best Friend Who Had Her Heart Broken

To My Best Friend Who Had Her Heart Broken

It hurts right now, but I'll always be here to pass you the Oreos.
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We might not have been friends for long, or we may have met in elementary school. Maybe we get lunch every week, or we go to schools across the country from one another. You may have been in the relationship for years, or maybe it was relatively new. Regardless, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that your heart was broken, that you feel like you've lost all your trust in people, and that you feel used. I wish I could fix all of this. All I can do, though, is be here while you cry, while you yell, and when you're eventually angry.

We all know the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance. I have to admit, I'm only going to be good at helping you through the anger stage. Lord knows I'll try to be comforting while you cry, but my true calling is in snarky comments about your ex. In the wise words of Chandler Bing, "I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

Regardless, if you call me at 2 am, I will come running with a pack of Oreos and cheap wine, ready to curl up and watch "Titanic" to your heart's content. And after the movie is over and you're wondering what went wrong, I will remind you that you're worth it, you're beautiful, and you will always have me to give you Oreos and snarky comments.

I remember your nerves before the first date, your excited phone call to tell me all about it, and how we analyzed every single thing he ever said to you. You thought you were perfect together, and now that it's over, you can't believe that that wasn't true. But I'm here to tell you that you're a wonderful and complete person on your own, and when you eventually decide to dive back into the dating pool, I'll be here to listen to you talk about the butterflies in your stomach again.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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I Promise, He Is Not The One That Got Away

You will never have to chase what is meant to stay.

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You miss him. You miss the hugs, the laughs, the inside jokes. You miss hearing his voice over phone calls, you miss the late night drives, you miss the fun adventures. You miss your best friend.

The guy that you loved so much, that you once planned a future with, that you haven't had to imagine life without in so long, is suddenly gone. No explanation will make it easier, or less confusing, or less unfair.

You're probably thinking that you'll never move on. You're thinking that this pain you're feeling will stay with you forever. You think that you lost the love of your life, because how could a bond so strong not be meant to last forever?

Leaving the familiar is terrifying. It is so easy to believe that this was the greatest love you will ever experience. You're afraid to leave behind the memories. You don't want to start over, because no relationship you have with anyone else will ever be the same. Nobody is him, and nobody will ever be him. Scary, isn't it? Actually, no. This is the greatest truth that you can admit to yourself right now. Nobody will ever be him.

He left. He hurt you. He made you feel unworthy. He did not choose to love you the way that you deserve. Yes, he did make you happy for a season of your life. This is a beautiful thing, and you shouldn't deny it. Just because he did not make you happy forever does not erase the time you spent together. Every relationship leaves behind memories, and these memories will always be pieces of your life. It is okay to think about them. You will be thankful for them one day.

Love is not always meant to last forever. Loving someone does not bind you to each other for eternity. It's unfair, and it feels impossible to let a love go. Especially when you were certain you would never have to. You fear that he was "the one that got away". I promise you, this is so far from true. "The one" would not leave. He would choose to love you even through the rough times, instead of walking away. Saying someone is "the one that got away" is a counterintuitive statement, and frankly it's a load of BS. Yeah, sure, he got away, but would "the one" really put you through endless amounts of pain and suffering? Or would "the one" treat you with respect and love you the way you deserve?

I've been in this same situation, fearing that my ex is the person that I am supposed to be with and that I let him get away. But truthfully, I didn't let him get away. He chose to leave all on his own. And that by itself should be a sign that he really is NOT "the one". If you have to chase and beg and bargain with someone for them to be in your life, odds are they're not meant to be there anyway.

It ended because better is out there. It ended because the relationship was no longer best for the both of you. It may feel like you lost the best thing in your life, but there is a reason for it. If something leaves, it means that that something is no longer supposed to be in your life. And that means that you will be better off without it. He is not "the one that got away", because "the one" would do everything in his power to stay.

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