To My Best Friend Who Had Her Heart Broken

To My Best Friend Who Had Her Heart Broken

It hurts right now, but I'll always be here to pass you the Oreos.
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We might not have been friends for long, or we may have met in elementary school. Maybe we get lunch every week, or we go to schools across the country from one another. You may have been in the relationship for years, or maybe it was relatively new. Regardless, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that your heart was broken, that you feel like you've lost all your trust in people, and that you feel used. I wish I could fix all of this. All I can do, though, is be here while you cry, while you yell, and when you're eventually angry.

We all know the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance. I have to admit, I'm only going to be good at helping you through the anger stage. Lord knows I'll try to be comforting while you cry, but my true calling is in snarky comments about your ex. In the wise words of Chandler Bing, "I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

Regardless, if you call me at 2 am, I will come running with a pack of Oreos and cheap wine, ready to curl up and watch "Titanic" to your heart's content. And after the movie is over and you're wondering what went wrong, I will remind you that you're worth it, you're beautiful, and you will always have me to give you Oreos and snarky comments.

I remember your nerves before the first date, your excited phone call to tell me all about it, and how we analyzed every single thing he ever said to you. You thought you were perfect together, and now that it's over, you can't believe that that wasn't true. But I'm here to tell you that you're a wonderful and complete person on your own, and when you eventually decide to dive back into the dating pool, I'll be here to listen to you talk about the butterflies in your stomach again.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Plan These 13 Dates For Your Girlfriend This Fall And Thank Me Later

Listen up, guys.

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If you are a boy and you are reading this, plan one of these dates and you'll make your girlfriend the happiest person alive. Yeah, you can thank me later.

1. Go to a pumpkin patch.

This may be super basic but who doesn't want a cute little pumpkin around Halloween time. Usually, you will take a hayride to the pumpkin patch which is always a nice time to spend together. It will also be really cute seeing how excited she gets over finding the perfect little pumpkin.

2. Go on a hayride.

If you go to a pumpkin patch you may have the opportunity to go on a hayride and you definitely should! You will get to see all around the farm and the scenery is usually beautiful in the fall with the leaves changing colors!

3. Go apple picking.

This date will always allow for a cute photo shoot opportunity and everyone will be able to see your Insta post later captioned "the apple of my eye." Also, if you love apples what better place to get them then a local farm where you pick them yourself! Make sure you check your local farm to see when your favorite apples will be ready for harvest!

4. Bake something together.

There are so many amazing recipes for fall, apple pie being one of them. Which will be the perfect thing to bake with your S.O. after apple picking (two dates in one)!

5. Go to a local festival.

No matter where you are from there are probably a ton of local festivals around you throughout the fall. Whether it is a food festival, fall fest, music festival or even a lantern festival all of them are usually a perfect date. You can experience new things together and enjoy the fall weather.

6. Go to a football game.

Whether it is high school, college, or a professional football game any football is good football in the fall. Between a fun tailgate and an exciting game, if you are into sports football is the way to go.

7. Walk or hike around a state park.

No matter where you are from there are always state parks around you! Fall is the perfect time to go on an outdoor because it's not too hot to too cold. The scenery is always beautiful with all of the leaves changing colors. If there is a lake you could always go kayaking or paddle boating!

8. Visit your local farm.

A lot of local farms have fresh veggies, apples, baked goods and of course pumpkins! Also, check and see if your local farm has any fall family days. On those days they usually have a lot of fun activities, animals, hayrides, corn mazes, pumpkins and if you're lucky they'll have amazing apple cider donuts!

9. Stay in for a cozy movie day.

With Freeform starting their 31 days of Halloween this leads to the perfect excuse for a night on the couch. Pick out your favorite Halloween movie, make some popcorn and have some warm apple cider while cuddling up on the couch.

10. Visit a haunted house.

If you are down for something a little scarier then a Halloween movie, check out a haunted house near yours. It could even be a haunted hayride or haunted corn maze.

11. Take her out to breakfast.

Girls are always down for a cute breakfast date. Especially when you can roll out of beds in your sweats and keep them on in the cozy fall weather.

12. Spend a night carving pumpkins.

Once Halloween rolls around you should grab a cheap carving supplies kit, roll up your sleeves, and carve a cute pumpkin together. Whether you write your initials or create a jack-o-lantern it will probably be full of fun memories of pulling out pumpkin guts.

13. Go to a Halloween party.

Take some time and hit up Pinterest for a super cute couples costume and eat all the candy you possibly can!

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I Wasted 8 Months Of My Life On A Boy Who Didn't Care So You Don't Have To

Learn from me, ladies.

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Let's be honest with ourselves: Endings suck.

The end of friendships, relationships, and other emotional ties is almost never a clean break, no matter how hard you try to make it one. Once things end, you start trying to figure out where things went wrong.

Was it you? Was it them? Could you have fixed it?

The simple answer to all of those is no. It's no one's fault, and no amount of make-up sex or talking it out could have fixed it.

The messy answer, however, is yes. Sometimes someone is to blame. Sometimes we're dumb enough to think talking and sex and whatever else can fix it. I said no was the simple answer, remember?

Let me tell you a little story. I spent eight months of my life developing feelings for a boy. I use the term boy in all seriousness because no man would let something like this carry on for so long. I was envisioning a future with this guy, planning it in the solace of my own space, making jokes to him about how I couldn't wait to graduate college to begin this life, wherever it may take us. I had my qualms and little moments where things seemed off, but we'd spend the night together and then suddenly, quickly, things were perfect again.

Was it because I was physical with him that things would go from mediocre to perfect? Yes. Was I smart enough to figure that out before it was too late? No.

This carried on for a while because I let it. He would go days without speaking to me, which carried into weeks, and I would allow him to continue the cycle because I would come back every time, more eager than before. He made me happy. When things were good, they were good. That was enough.

I looked passed all the bullshit for a few good evenings here and there for eight months. When things came to an abrupt halt, he put the blame on me for pushing him into something he wasn't ready for.

Now, let's talk about my mistakes:

Should it have been red flag number one that he wouldn't make time for me except at night? Yes.

Should I have felt that any of the bad emotional experiences that happened were my fault? No.

Did I care for him so much that I stupidly looked beyond all of the bad stuff? Yes.

From one girl to another, don't make the mistakes I did. The right guy won't let things go on for months only to hurt you in the end. The right guy won't give you a few good moments amongst times of questioning everything. Instead, while every moment won't be happy and serene, the majority of them will.

If you spend more time worrying about fitting into the mold he wants you to be instead of being yourself, he's not the one.

If he acts like he doesn't care, he doesn't care.

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