I've always been a firm believer in the concept that everything happens for a reason. I don't believe in coincidences; I believe that everything happens according to God's plan. I believe in this concept, in every aspect of my life, including my basically non-existent romantic life. I believe in this concept with such optimism, despite enough heartbreak and rejection to send me into a socially acceptable spinsterhood. That is a big reason why when I'm asked which "Sex And The City" character I am most like (I know, I'm as basic as they come), I say Charlotte York.
Like Charlotte, I'm a hopeless romantic and will never become cynical about true love no matter how much I get beaten down in my pursuit of it. In all honesty, you have to experience pain to appreciate the pleasure. You have to kiss a frog before you find your prince, and you have to have your Trey before your Harry. That is why all of the heartache and rejection in the past is actually a blessing in disguise.
When I transferred from a community college my sophomore year, I was finally over my high school heartbreakthat I honestly thought I would never get over; I was ready to find love. By October, I was crushing on a guy I had known prior to college. Since I was 19 and stupid, I let my feelings out way too early, and, long story short, we don't talk anymore. I wasn't heartbroken, but it still sucked. One of my best friends reminded me that everything happens for a reason, even crappy things.
In a small amount of time, I could see why it happened. He and I simply weren't meant to be. After I acknowledged that, I was in "onto the next one" mode once again, but with a more positive outlook. I still haven't found the perfect guy or a boyfriend, but I have found some amazing guys, friends I know I will never forget, while in college. I started to realize what kind of guy was right for me, and what I wanted in a guy overall.
I want someone with similar values to me. I want a best friend. I want someone to watch the game with who is just as loud and obnoxious about it as I am. I want someone I can be myself around at all times. I want someone who brings out my best self. I want someone I can act like a kid and be silly with. I want someone to drink wine and eat pizza with while watching Netflix in sweatpants. I want someone who actually takes me out on dates. I want someone who treats me like gold and makes my heart race every time he smiles at me. I want someone to spend my life with. To put it simply, I just want someone who loves me, my soulmate.
As I look back, everything that has had to do with guys in my life is linked and always leads to the next, the good and the bad. I wouldn't have amazing guy friends or a healthy mindset if it weren't for getting burned. I'm actually grateful for those experiences. I guess everything really does happen for a reason.