All throughout high school, I saw myself as somebody that didn't fit in. I continuously compared myself to other people and always put myself down. I was an extremely negative thinker, and I resented having any form of attention directed towards me. Now that I have almost completed my first semester of college, I have learned numerous things about myself that I wish I knew a long time ago.

Once in college, I realized that people do not really care what you do or what you wear. If you mess up while trying to present something or even trip while walking, no one is going to make fun of you, and if someone does, laugh along with them. Too much of our life is spent worrying about what others think about ourselves, while we are wasting time by not enjoying life! If you trip and fall, so what! I learned that you just have to laugh if off and continue with your day. If you worry yourself all day about a silly mistake that happened, like I did in high school, you will never be able to appreciate all the good in your life.

I also recently realized how negative of a person I was. By continuously worrying about myself and what other thought of me, I became a very self-conscious person. The thoughts that I had about myself were not positive ones. I realized that these thoughts changed my whole view point on my life. I took everything for granted and even argued with my parents over stuff that didn't even make sense; it was just for the fact of the argument. I have now come to the understanding that positive energy is a necessity for a happy life. It allows you to view the world as a much better place and gives you new experiences everyday. I plan to try to not take any part of my life for advantage ever again.

One of the hardest things to do, which I am still working on, is cutting toxic relationships out of my life. I am someone who does not like upsetting people; I like when everyone is happy. I used to blame other people's problems on myself (thankfully I do not do this anymore), but it just goes to show how much I truly care about all my friends. But everyone has that one toxic friendship. It's like no matter how much you love that person and truly care for them, your relationship is something that will always bring a negative energy. I realized that cutting toxic people out of your life is a good thing and shouldn't be frowned upon. Although it may have been extremely difficult for me to do this, in the end I'm glad I did it and do not regret it at all. Yourself and your own happiness should come before all, because in the end, you're the only person who is truly looking out for yourself.

This being said, there still are a lot more things to be learned and a lot more changes to be made in my life. By eliminating the negativity, I am not able to say that I am at a content place in my life. I plan to read more, learn more, travel more, exercise more, and mostly importantly, laugh more. Surround yourself with joy and happiness and, sooner or later, you will figure out that you are happy too.