Being single. Does that word make you cringe? Are you one of the people who always seems to be in a relationship? Then this may not seem familiar to you. But to my girls and guys out there who know what being single feels like all too well, this is for you.
It may not be that you have always been single. It may mean that you are single most of the time or are single now. Either way you slice it, you aren't in a relationship. And what you need to know is that it's OK not to be.
For me, it was always all about boys. From the time I dated the first guy, I was sold. Being in a relationship made me feel like I was more involved and like I had more to talk about. I felt a sense of completeness in my life. But little did I know that being in relationships meant bad things too. I found out the hard way, never having a relationship that ended on a good note or being able to bring things back to normal after I had dated someone. Being in a relationship was a hassle, and I found out I was much happier without one.
Having just started college, I of course have been checking out the new playing field. I came to college totally single and nothing attached to me. No old feelings or hate. After flirting it up for a while and meeting guys, I was all in for something good to happen to me. But after a couple weeks of playing the field, I stopped. Things happened, and all of a sudden I was done.
I sat with one of my new sorority sisters confused about why I felt the way I did, and she knew all of the right things to say. I had always felt like I needed a relationship because all of my friends had one too. I was always the odd one out, or the fifth or seventh wheel. Nobody ever wants that. It just so happened to be the way things worked out for me. I didn't do well with guys. I got awkward around them and never knew what to say. So, there was me, usually single. But my friend made me realize something, even though my family had been telling me for years and I didn't want to listen.
She talked to me about how I wasn't in love with myself. And how she knew I didn't have my relationship right with God. And how I felt about wanting a relationship and all of a sudden not. I have always had a problem with myself, never feeling comfortable in my own skin. And as far as my relationship with God, it's been lacking. And to me, that is what is holding me back.
As to my main point, being single is a journey. You can take it as it is given and find yourself, or be stubborn and choose not to. Not being in a relationship gives you time to sit and think about what is going on with you. You can focus on your friends, your other studies, and what is really important in life. Being single has helped me figure stuff out. I have more time to myself and to concentrate on other stuff.
Being single doesn't mean you are missing out on anything. It means you are the one making it happen. You don't need a relationship to be happy or to feel wanted. You need to be yourself and not stress. One day, your time will come. And you will be so glad that it did when it does. But don't go out looking for the right one; let them come to you. Enjoy yourself and live. You won't regret it.
