Being The Daughter Of A Single Father

Being The Daughter Of A Single Father

The awkwardness and misunderstandings that come with being the daughter of a single father
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This topic hits near and dear to my heart as I am the daughter of a single father. I chose to write this because I know this can be a challenging situation. I love my dad and everything he does for me, but sometimes he just doesn’t understand and sometimes it’s just awkward. I know there are plenty of girls out there that feel the same.

First, I’m going to get personal, like I always do, and give you my story. Yes, my dad is a single father, but that does not mean my mother isn’t in my life. I love my mom with everything I have, and she is a great mother, but I live with my dad and spend 75% of my time with him. This article is in no way putting my mother, or anyone else’s down.

That being said, it has been just my dad and I since the summer before my 14th birthday, so right when a girl starts getting all those lovely puberty questions. To say things were awkward in the beginning would be an understatement. I had no clue how to approach my dad when I needed to buy pads, or even go bra shopping. Those are things you usually go to your mom and ask about. When I had to go to the store for pads I would just tell him I needed some feminine products because I felt weird saying I needed pads.

When I think about that now I laugh at myself because I am the youngest of three girls, so obviously, this wasn’t his first time in this situation. But when you are 14 and uncomfortable about the topic itself, you make it more awkward than necessary. Now, I just walk up to him and say "Dad, I need tampons" and he takes me to the store. So, if you feel awkward or weird about these topics with your dad, don’t. Even if you don’t have sisters like I do, your dad has been around women and knows what is going on. Just act like you are asking for food or something. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be.

Moving on to the topic all fathers hate to think about when it pertains to their ‘little girl’: boys. Let’s just say I don’t have too much advice to give on this topic because I’m still navigating it myself.

I grew up with one sister that was boy crazy and another that couldn’t care less so my dad has had experience with both. I, however, took after the one that couldn’t care less. In high school, while I did think about boys and think that some were cute, whether or not I had a boyfriend didn’t matter to me, so my dad didn’t have to worry.

Now, I find myself at 19, living at home with dad, and in the dating world. Since I am a poor college student, I sadly don’t have my own car, so I rely a lot on my dad to take me places.

So, that begs the question if I want to go to a guy’s house and he can’t come get me how do I get there? Well, I take the cowardly way out and tell my dad to take me to a “friend's” house.

My advice here really should be to just be honest and as long as you’re not 16 dating a 20-year-old all should be fine. Just bring it up casually I guess. My dad and I kind of just joke about and wiggle around the topic of my dating life.

Now, comes a biggie. Sometimes dads just don’t understand. I find myself in this position a lot of times because while I am so similar to my dad, I am also so vastly different from him and even from my sisters.

Growing up, I was and still kind of am, overweight and that was never an issue they had to deal with because they all had monster metabolisms that worked at the speed of light or something. When they could sit and eat a double cheeseburger and not gain a pound, I would gain 5 just by looking at it.

I know my dad always means well and just wants me to be healthy and live a long life, but he doesn’t understand that how he says things can be hurtful. I know I just need to exercise and that would be half the problem, but sometimes exercise can be brutal especially if you are heavy chested like I am.

He doesn’t understand that sometimes I have to work twice as hard than most people just to get rid of a fraction of the weight. I know he wants what’s best for me, as all fathers do, but sometimes they just don’t understand enough to word it correctly.

Another prime example of this is when every woman’s ‘favorite’ time of the month comes along. Guys don’t like to hear about it because it’s gross and trust that we think the same as well, but it’s a natural thing that happens.

I know this is more of all guys and not just fathers, but they don’t really get it either. Those days that you are just huddled up in bed with the world’s worst cramps and they say it can’t be that bad. Or how about when you are so fatigued because it literally drains you? They tend to think we are being dramatic, and yeah sometimes we can muck it up, but most the time it really is a problem.

I have kind of gotten through to my dad on this front. I get serious cramps and aches and am just irritable to the core, so he knows I’m not feeling well. Obviously, with every woman this is different but if you have issues and you feel like your dad just isn’t understanding how bad it is. just talk to him. I know it’s weird and awkward and neither one of you wants to talk about it, but if you don’t let him know what it is truly like for you he will never understand.

So, being the daughter of a single father can be rough at times and downright awkward most of the other times, but it really doesn’t have to be. I mean there will always be things like your sex life that will never not be awkward to talk about with your dad, but the other stuff is child’s play. If you just take the time to sit down and communicate and have an open relationship with him, I promise you things will be a little easier.I say a little because let’s be honest you are going to fight with your dad, he’s your parent, it's gonna happen, but at the end of the day, you both love each other and I can promise you that he only wants what’s best for you.
Cover Image Credit: pixabay.com

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The Thank You My Dad Deserves

While our moms are always the heroes, our dads deserve some credit, too.
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Dear Dad,

You’ve gone a really long time without being thanked. I'm not talking about thanks for things like opening the Gatorade bottle I couldn't or checking my tires when my car’s maintenance light is flashing, but rather the thanks I owe you for shaping me into the person I am today.

Thank you for teaching me what I deserve and for not letting me settle for anything less.

While the whole world was telling me I wasn’t good enough, you were there to tell me I was. Whether this was with boys, a friend, or anything else, you always built my confidence to a place I couldn’t build it to on my own. You showed me what my great qualities were and helped me feel unique. But most of all, you never let me settle for anything less than what I deserved, even when I wanted to. Without you, I wouldn’t be nearly as ambitious, outgoing or strong.

Thank you for giving me someone to make proud.

It’s hard to work hard when it’s just for myself, but so easy when it’s for you. All through school, nothing made me happier than getting a good grade back because I knew I got to come home and tell you. With everything I do, you give me a purpose.

SEE ALSO: 20 Things You Say When Calling Your Dad On The Phone

Thank you for showing me what selflessness looks like.

You are the prime example of what putting your family first looks like. If me wanting something means that you can’t get what you want, you’ll always sacrifice. From wearing the same t-shirts you’ve had since I was in elementary school so I could buy the new clothes I wanted, to not going out with your friends so you could come to my shows, you never made a decision without your family at the forefront of your mind. If there is one quality you have that I look up to you for the most, it’s your ability to completely put your needs aside and focus entirely on the wants of others.

Thank you for being the voice in the back of my head that shows me wrong from right.

Even though many of your dad-isms like “always wear a seatbelt” easily get old, whenever I’m in a situation and can’t decide if what I’m doing is right or wrong, I always can hear you in the back of my head pointing me in the right direction. While I may not boost your ego often enough by telling you you’re always right, you are.

Thank you for being real with me when nobody else will.

Being your child hasn’t always been full of happiness and encouragement, but that’s what makes you such an integral part of my life. Rather than sugarcoating things and always telling me I was the perfect child, you called me out when I was wrong. But what separates you from other dads is that instead of just knocking me down, you helped me improve. You helped me figure out my faults and stood by me every step of the way as I worked to fix them.

Most of all, thank you for showing me what a great man looks like.

I know that marriage may seem very far down the road, but I just want you to know that whoever the guy I marry is, I know he’ll be right because I have an amazing guy to compare him to. I know you’re not perfect (nobody is), but you’ve raised me in a such a way that I couldn’t imagine my kids being raised any differently. Finding a guy with your heart, drive, and generosity will be tough, but I know it will be worth it.


Dad, you’re more than just my parent, but my best friend. You’re there for me like nobody else is and I couldn’t imagine being where I am now without you.

Love you forever,

Your little girl

Cover Image Credit: Caity Callan

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The People You Need In Your Life Won't Make You Beg For Love

The right one will know exactly what to do and when to do it.

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I saw a tweet recently that described every emotion I've felt over the past years. It goes something like this, "Do not teach a man, how to be your man sis. Do not ask him to show you off, do not ask him to text you, do not ask him to care about you, do not ask him to bring you random flowers, do not ask him to plan dates. The right one will know exactly what to do and when to do it."

I have experienced this myself and have heard a lot of friends go through the same thing. I really wish I would have seen this tweet a long time ago so I could have shared this with everyone, including myself. It's so important to teach young boys and girls to not beg for someone's attention. Don't beg someone to give you the time of day. Don't give into their excuses. Don't stay because you're lonely. The right guy or girl will come to sweep you off of their feet. Instead of hurting, find better. Even I have to constantly remind myself of this.

If he/she wants to buy you flowers, they will. If they wanted to go on a date, it would have been planned. If they wanted to talk to you, they would have called. If they're going to cheat, they're going to cheat. Don't wrap yourself up in the moment of your feelings being hurt. Take note of it and try to find better. No one deserves to feel like they weren't good enough for someone else's attention.

It doesn't have to apply to just relationships though. Friendships and family apply to this topic as well. Don't beg for your friends to invite you to stuff. If they're going to make plans without you, let them. The worst invite I have ever received was when people would make plans in front of me and then look at me and say "Oh you can come too if you want". Excuse me? Did I look like I was begging for an invite because I wasn't? Being invited out of pity is way worse than not being invited.

Don't beg for your parents' love. If they don't want to build a relationship, stop trying. It hurts so bad but, it's better to not have someone in your life that's toxic than to beg for that love. Someone loves you. It may not be your parent because of whatever it may be but, someone out there will be there for you.

The lesson behind this is to not beg for someone to care about you. You are worth more than that and there are so many people in this world, you just have to find who your person is. Friendships and relationships come and go, don't settle because you feel as if you're stuck. Set your standards and then strive for better. Wow yourself and let people into your life who aren't the reason you cry yourself to sleep every night.

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