Being The Daughter Of A Single Father

Being The Daughter Of A Single Father

The awkwardness and misunderstandings that come with being the daughter of a single father
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This topic hits near and dear to my heart as I am the daughter of a single father. I chose to write this because I know this can be a challenging situation. I love my dad and everything he does for me, but sometimes he just doesn’t understand and sometimes it’s just awkward. I know there are plenty of girls out there that feel the same.

First, I’m going to get personal, like I always do, and give you my story. Yes, my dad is a single father, but that does not mean my mother isn’t in my life. I love my mom with everything I have, and she is a great mother, but I live with my dad and spend 75% of my time with him. This article is in no way putting my mother, or anyone else’s down.

That being said, it has been just my dad and I since the summer before my 14th birthday, so right when a girl starts getting all those lovely puberty questions. To say things were awkward in the beginning would be an understatement. I had no clue how to approach my dad when I needed to buy pads, or even go bra shopping. Those are things you usually go to your mom and ask about. When I had to go to the store for pads I would just tell him I needed some feminine products because I felt weird saying I needed pads.

When I think about that now I laugh at myself because I am the youngest of three girls, so obviously, this wasn’t his first time in this situation. But when you are 14 and uncomfortable about the topic itself, you make it more awkward than necessary. Now, I just walk up to him and say "Dad, I need tampons" and he takes me to the store. So, if you feel awkward or weird about these topics with your dad, don’t. Even if you don’t have sisters like I do, your dad has been around women and knows what is going on. Just act like you are asking for food or something. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be.

Moving on to the topic all fathers hate to think about when it pertains to their ‘little girl’: boys. Let’s just say I don’t have too much advice to give on this topic because I’m still navigating it myself.

I grew up with one sister that was boy crazy and another that couldn’t care less so my dad has had experience with both. I, however, took after the one that couldn’t care less. In high school, while I did think about boys and think that some were cute, whether or not I had a boyfriend didn’t matter to me, so my dad didn’t have to worry.

Now, I find myself at 19, living at home with dad, and in the dating world. Since I am a poor college student, I sadly don’t have my own car, so I rely a lot on my dad to take me places.

So, that begs the question if I want to go to a guy’s house and he can’t come get me how do I get there? Well, I take the cowardly way out and tell my dad to take me to a “friend's” house.

My advice here really should be to just be honest and as long as you’re not 16 dating a 20-year-old all should be fine. Just bring it up casually I guess. My dad and I kind of just joke about and wiggle around the topic of my dating life.

Now, comes a biggie. Sometimes dads just don’t understand. I find myself in this position a lot of times because while I am so similar to my dad, I am also so vastly different from him and even from my sisters.

Growing up, I was and still kind of am, overweight and that was never an issue they had to deal with because they all had monster metabolisms that worked at the speed of light or something. When they could sit and eat a double cheeseburger and not gain a pound, I would gain 5 just by looking at it.

I know my dad always means well and just wants me to be healthy and live a long life, but he doesn’t understand that how he says things can be hurtful. I know I just need to exercise and that would be half the problem, but sometimes exercise can be brutal especially if you are heavy chested like I am.

He doesn’t understand that sometimes I have to work twice as hard than most people just to get rid of a fraction of the weight. I know he wants what’s best for me, as all fathers do, but sometimes they just don’t understand enough to word it correctly.

Another prime example of this is when every woman’s ‘favorite’ time of the month comes along. Guys don’t like to hear about it because it’s gross and trust that we think the same as well, but it’s a natural thing that happens.

I know this is more of all guys and not just fathers, but they don’t really get it either. Those days that you are just huddled up in bed with the world’s worst cramps and they say it can’t be that bad. Or how about when you are so fatigued because it literally drains you? They tend to think we are being dramatic, and yeah sometimes we can muck it up, but most the time it really is a problem.

I have kind of gotten through to my dad on this front. I get serious cramps and aches and am just irritable to the core, so he knows I’m not feeling well. Obviously, with every woman this is different but if you have issues and you feel like your dad just isn’t understanding how bad it is. just talk to him. I know it’s weird and awkward and neither one of you wants to talk about it, but if you don’t let him know what it is truly like for you he will never understand.

So, being the daughter of a single father can be rough at times and downright awkward most of the other times, but it really doesn’t have to be. I mean there will always be things like your sex life that will never not be awkward to talk about with your dad, but the other stuff is child’s play. If you just take the time to sit down and communicate and have an open relationship with him, I promise you things will be a little easier.I say a little because let’s be honest you are going to fight with your dad, he’s your parent, it's gonna happen, but at the end of the day, you both love each other and I can promise you that he only wants what’s best for you.
Cover Image Credit: pixabay.com

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Why I Appreciate My Parents So Much

This is for my two biggest supporters.

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One thing I've noticed, the older I've gotten, is how much I appreciate my parents.

We've become so close, it's almost funny to think at one point I looked at them so much differently. When I was younger, my parents were much more strict than they are now. They disciplined differently and didn't let me do certain things. The older I've gotten, the more freedom I've gotten, which is one big sigh of relief.

My parents are such great people. Throughout my whole life, I've always had friends of parents or people who know my parents tell me how great they both are. I'm so blessed to have been raised by them and to have gotten their characteristics.

My mom is so loving and generous, and she thinks of literally everyone else in her life before herself. She's smart and funny, and she is always there when I need someone to talk to. She's taught me how to be courteous, kind, funny (with her sense of humor), and most importantly, accepting towards others.

The older I get, the more I realize how similar I am to her. She's my favorite woman in the whole world. We understand each other.

My dad is a thoughtful, hilarious, wise, and helpful guy who has taught me so many lessons throughout the years. He always makes sure my finances are in order, even more than I do. He keeps me laughing with his funny stories and made-up songs that he sings. He always asks me how my day was every time I walk through the door. He is so adorable and thoughtful, and I'm so happy I got his wit and humor.

His smile lights up a room and I'm so happy I've been hearing his laugh and will continue to for the rest of my life.

Another great thing about my parents is that they've taught me what love looks like. They're so loving, kind, and patient towards each other. I've rarely ever seen them fight in my life. They still treat one another how they did when they first started dating. I have friends and know people whose parents aren't together, and I'm so lucky to say I can't imagine what that's like.

My parents complete each other; they are soulmates. I'm so lucky and appreciative that I get to have the honor of watching their love play out throughout their lives.

I'm so happy and thankful that these are the parents I ended up with. They're the best. I hope to be half of my parents when I become a parent myself.

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