Being The Daughter Of A Single Father

Being The Daughter Of A Single Father

The awkwardness and misunderstandings that come with being the daughter of a single father
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This topic hits near and dear to my heart as I am the daughter of a single father. I chose to write this because I know this can be a challenging situation. I love my dad and everything he does for me, but sometimes he just doesn’t understand and sometimes it’s just awkward. I know there are plenty of girls out there that feel the same.

First, I’m going to get personal, like I always do, and give you my story. Yes, my dad is a single father, but that does not mean my mother isn’t in my life. I love my mom with everything I have, and she is a great mother, but I live with my dad and spend 75% of my time with him. This article is in no way putting my mother, or anyone else’s down.

That being said, it has been just my dad and I since the summer before my 14th birthday, so right when a girl starts getting all those lovely puberty questions. To say things were awkward in the beginning would be an understatement. I had no clue how to approach my dad when I needed to buy pads, or even go bra shopping. Those are things you usually go to your mom and ask about. When I had to go to the store for pads I would just tell him I needed some feminine products because I felt weird saying I needed pads.

When I think about that now I laugh at myself because I am the youngest of three girls, so obviously, this wasn’t his first time in this situation. But when you are 14 and uncomfortable about the topic itself, you make it more awkward than necessary. Now, I just walk up to him and say "Dad, I need tampons" and he takes me to the store. So, if you feel awkward or weird about these topics with your dad, don’t. Even if you don’t have sisters like I do, your dad has been around women and knows what is going on. Just act like you are asking for food or something. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be.

Moving on to the topic all fathers hate to think about when it pertains to their ‘little girl’: boys. Let’s just say I don’t have too much advice to give on this topic because I’m still navigating it myself.

I grew up with one sister that was boy crazy and another that couldn’t care less so my dad has had experience with both. I, however, took after the one that couldn’t care less. In high school, while I did think about boys and think that some were cute, whether or not I had a boyfriend didn’t matter to me, so my dad didn’t have to worry.

Now, I find myself at 19, living at home with dad, and in the dating world. Since I am a poor college student, I sadly don’t have my own car, so I rely a lot on my dad to take me places.

So, that begs the question if I want to go to a guy’s house and he can’t come get me how do I get there? Well, I take the cowardly way out and tell my dad to take me to a “friend's” house.

My advice here really should be to just be honest and as long as you’re not 16 dating a 20-year-old all should be fine. Just bring it up casually I guess. My dad and I kind of just joke about and wiggle around the topic of my dating life.

Now, comes a biggie. Sometimes dads just don’t understand. I find myself in this position a lot of times because while I am so similar to my dad, I am also so vastly different from him and even from my sisters.

Growing up, I was and still kind of am, overweight and that was never an issue they had to deal with because they all had monster metabolisms that worked at the speed of light or something. When they could sit and eat a double cheeseburger and not gain a pound, I would gain 5 just by looking at it.

I know my dad always means well and just wants me to be healthy and live a long life, but he doesn’t understand that how he says things can be hurtful. I know I just need to exercise and that would be half the problem, but sometimes exercise can be brutal especially if you are heavy chested like I am.

He doesn’t understand that sometimes I have to work twice as hard than most people just to get rid of a fraction of the weight. I know he wants what’s best for me, as all fathers do, but sometimes they just don’t understand enough to word it correctly.

Another prime example of this is when every woman’s ‘favorite’ time of the month comes along. Guys don’t like to hear about it because it’s gross and trust that we think the same as well, but it’s a natural thing that happens.

I know this is more of all guys and not just fathers, but they don’t really get it either. Those days that you are just huddled up in bed with the world’s worst cramps and they say it can’t be that bad. Or how about when you are so fatigued because it literally drains you? They tend to think we are being dramatic, and yeah sometimes we can muck it up, but most the time it really is a problem.

I have kind of gotten through to my dad on this front. I get serious cramps and aches and am just irritable to the core, so he knows I’m not feeling well. Obviously, with every woman this is different but if you have issues and you feel like your dad just isn’t understanding how bad it is. just talk to him. I know it’s weird and awkward and neither one of you wants to talk about it, but if you don’t let him know what it is truly like for you he will never understand.

So, being the daughter of a single father can be rough at times and downright awkward most of the other times, but it really doesn’t have to be. I mean there will always be things like your sex life that will never not be awkward to talk about with your dad, but the other stuff is child’s play. If you just take the time to sit down and communicate and have an open relationship with him, I promise you things will be a little easier.I say a little because let’s be honest you are going to fight with your dad, he’s your parent, it's gonna happen, but at the end of the day, you both love each other and I can promise you that he only wants what’s best for you.
Cover Image Credit: pixabay.com

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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A Goodbye Letter To My Best Friend

You'll always be my puppy.

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Dear Lexie,

I grew up with you, and then I watched you grow old. For 14 years you loved our family and greeted us each morning with your puppy smile. I'll never forget those first few years of life with you.

As you and your playful soul grew, so did my love for you. I have memory upon memory of you romping around on the carpet in our living room, eagerly seeking to engage us in a playful endeavor. Your tail would wag and your tongue would flop as you ran around in circles sharing your unbridled joy with us all. I'd then find one of your many toys and send it careening through air for you to dash across the living room in a tizzy.

As you continued to grow, so did your excitement and optimism for new feats of playfulness. Even in the sweltering heat of July, you would tear across the backyard in search of lost toys and a space to play. You'd run circles non-stop and I could never keep up with you! But as soon as both of us were tired, a nice swim would cool us both down. I would sit on the pool stairs next to you, both of us drenched after a dip, and just listen to you pant away while you still held your puppy smile. You were satisfied with yet another day filled with laughter, play, and companionship.

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