You log into Instagram and the first image that pops up on your newsfeed is a picture of two perfect-looking individuals who are kissing in front of a sunset, and immediately you start to daydream of the day that will be you. You long for the day that some boy will sweep you off your feet and take cute pictures with you -- a boy who will do sweet things for you, love you unconditionally and make memories with you. In a culture that puts such a high face value on relationships, sometimes being single is overwhelming and discouraging. It’s hard to be surrounded by happy couples and not feel the desire to have that type of relationship, to want that feeling of love and security.

As someone who has never had a boyfriend, I have felt the pressures of getting into a relationship numerous times. I have felt the insecurities that come with not having a boyfriend. I have felt the desire to have someone to confide in, to be loved by and to live life with. Sometimes I feel lonely and think , life would be so much better if I had a boyfriend; however, I have come to realize that this isn’t always true. I have had so many friends left feeling worthless, hurt and broken by someone they once thought they would spend the rest of their lives with. I have had friends who have been cheated on, abused, taken advantage of and left feeling alone. It’s hard to not jump into a relationship with the first guy who shows the slightest bit of interest in you, but I have seen the negative effects of relationships with the wrong person. I have come to see that it’s OK to be single. It may be hard at times; it may be lonely at times, but it’s OK.

I have found that there is no point in seeking a relationship and rushing into something simply to have someone. Song of Solomon 8:4 gives us a gentle reminder of this: “Daughter of Jerusalem, I charge you; do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” God knows us better than we could ever know ourselves, and he most definitely knows when we will be ready for a relationship. He has a plan for everybody’s life and knows every part of our lives, be it past, present or future. He knows when we will be ready for a relationship, and if that isn’t for many years to come, that’s okay. Earthly relationships, while desirable, will never bring the satisfaction that Christ can. Earthly relationships can be demanding, hurtful, challenging, and sometimes result in leaving people broken.

There is no love like the love of the Savior, and there is no human that can make us feel whole the way that He can. Nobody can make us truly happy, nobody can love us perfectly, nobody can fully accept us for who we are, besides Christ. He welcomes us with open arms, even when we feel broken, worthless, ugly, hurt, or ashamed. His love isn’t selfish or demanding; it’s unconditional. A relationship with Him is more important than any relationship here on earth.

So next time you are on Instagram and see a couple that appears to happy and in love, just remember that a picture doesn’t fully capture the pain and troubles that come with relationships. Don’t get me wrong, relationships are great as long as they are with the right person who God puts into our life, but they shouldn’t be what we strive for. Relationships shouldn’t define us, complete us or give us our worth; Christ should. It’s easy to want what other people have, but it’s important to realize that it’s OK to be single. Being single allows us to grow on our own. It allows us to discover who we are, what we believe and who we want to become. Being single, while difficult at times, is a time for growth. So during these single years, allow yourself to grow; grow as an individual, as a woman, but most importantly, as a follower of Christ, as He is the only one who promises to always love you and never leave you (Deuteronomy 31:6).