As I've talked about before, I am making it my mission to take care of myself in 2018. I've been broken and hurting for a few months now. I've been struggling to come to terms with my single life. I've now realized that being single has been one of the best things to happen to me.
I don't know how to describe it, but as cliche as it sounds, I had an epiphany. Suddenly, all of the bad things about being single don't seem as bad anymore and all of the good things have seemed even better.
I recently went home for Christmas and before I left to go home, I was absolutely dreading it. Of course I missed my family, but I was worried that I would miss my roommates, not have anyone at home to hang out with, and be bored out of my mind. I also can't say I was too excited to live under my parents' roof again. I came home though and I realized how much I had neglected spending time with my family before I was single. I realized that I would choose other people over spending time with my family. This realization made me a little sad, because I will never get that time back.
I realized that I now am able to partake in experiences I would not have if I were in a relationship. My dad and I adventurously decided to road trip and camp down to Texas for the Cotton Bowl. If I would have had the opportunity last year, I probably wouldn't have done it if I'm being honest. But, I am very glad I did. Although I was dreading coming home a little bit, I didn't want to leave. Of course I wanted to see my roommates and am happy to be back, but I do miss my family.
As I expected, being single and finding my independence again was very difficult at first. I was on my own for the first time in a while and it was scary. It was lonely at times, but now I can honestly say I love being single. I love being able to put my phone down and do what I want, when I want to do it. I need to be single, because I need to continue to heal. I can tell I am a much stronger person than I was 2 months ago, even 2 weeks ago. I'm genuinely happy with myself and my life and that's not a feeling I have felt in a little while.
So sometimes, you need to be single. You need to experience life on your own. You need to step out of your comfort zone and grow. For anyone who is in a happy relationship, I am happy for you and I hope it works out. For anyone who is in a relationship because they're afraid of being alone, don't be. It may not seem like the right thing for you at first, but with time you will see why being single can allow you to work on yourself so that your next relationship will be even stronger than the last. 2018 is your year!