I’m probably the first one to tell you it’s okay to be selfish!

If you are anything like me, you have been through some disastrous relationships in your life. One challenge I am bringing upon my very selfless personality is being on my own and loving myself. Something that needs to be said about using the world ‘selfish’ is there is a difference between needing to be selfish and wanting to be selfish, and it’s huge.

Wanting to be selfish is just not the way to go if it’s for the wrong reasons, if you’re constantly taking from someone else (whether a significant other or a friend) and not giving anything back that is a personal problem you need to figure out yourself. While needing to be selfish for a while is something that should not come naturally and is often a challenge; it is giving yourself the attention you so desperately need.

But going through repeated relationships that drained me of all my love, energy and self-esteem has really shown me that it is okay to give that love, energy and self-appreciation back to yourself.

I came to this realization that I didn’t want to put up with the games, lying, cheating, and just heart-wrenching drama anymore. If I am going to put time and effort into someone they have to love me as much as I love them. There is more purpose to my life especially in college, these are my years to be free and experience things that change my life. I couldn’t do that if I was constantly being pulled back by the ridiculous drama I had been allowing.

What I want to get out of these next few (boy free) months is self-love, by giving myself the attention I was giving someone else who wasn’t grateful for it. Appreciation for my family and friends; some of those crippling relationships strained what I have with people very close to me. Lastly, time; making time for yourself is something that is often forgotten about but it is so important! Doing things that make you happy and feel good about yourself needs to be a daily habit.

Overall what I hope to gain from this experience is my own self-worth, because every young woman should know how valuable her love is. I hope you can relate to this at some point in your life, and know that someone has gone through it and has not only survived being single but THRIVED.

Although there may be set-backs and difficult days, just remember RuPaul from RuPaul’s Drag Race always says. “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?