Faith is a complicated word. Usually defined as either "complete trust or confidence in someone or something" or "strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof," a person's faith is held close to their heart; it's a valuable possession they don't want to (or in some cases, can't) let go of.
In this day and age, religion is slowly becoming increasingly important. Some are attacked for their belief to a higher faith, some are celebrated. Some convert to another system of beliefs and some deconstruct theirs for specific reasons. Regardless, in times of crisis, religion seems to be the right-hand man for most people. It's their safe place, a mindset of comfort.
Growing up in a traditional south Indian, Hinduism family, religion was a constant in my life. My family in India and in America were more or less religious in the sense that they would attend temples daily to perform ceremonies to deities. When I visited India, our family would visit all the temples we could-- the famous ones, the ones that are sacred to our family name, etc. Here in Atlanta, however, my (immediate) family would only attend temples on special occasions due to the fact that Georgia's temples were limited and our gas tank, unfortunately, was too. It was still balanced and healthy though - the less we went to temples, the more we prayed at home.
Yet I noticed a gradual change in myself. I was brought up in an environment in which I was exposed to several other cultures rather than just my own. It started getting more complex; there were different beliefs involved, different stories, different morals. It was overwhelming. In school, you learn about the basics of most religions. But it's different when you're actually living in a scenario where you experience and see different religions come into play. This, I feel like, prompted most kids in my generation to get closer to their faith. It was an opportunity to learn more about the morals and ethics they were raised on, to whom they sacrifice their lives for.
But, the more I watched everyone around me become more in touch with their religion, the less I felt connected to mine.
Because I came from a culture that is so intertwined with religion, I used to not notice it much. I went to the temple with my family, performed in ceremonies that praised the deities, and even participated in any cultural event that was dedicated to a higher faith. It seemed so routine and maybe, subconsciously, I did it to appease my family.
When I got to college, it came to my attention the isolation I had with religion. My ex-roommate would go to church every Monday night. My friend would commute back home on the weekends to go to the temple. I knew people in Greek life that were in a particular frats or sororities based on their faith-- their religion linked directly to their college and social lives. It didn't stop there; it was embedded in my academic life as well. My philosophy class revolved around God (and to no surprise, almost all the philosophers were trying to prove why God exists). My English classes required that I learn Bible references for the books we read so we could analyze them properly. Everywhere I went, there was always a reminder of religion, and it felt like I was the only one who didn't associate with it.
Being not so religious in an era of religion is quite difficult, but being not so religious in a constant state of, "What do I believe in? Do I believe anything? What purpose do I have with this belief? Do I connect with this on a spiritual level?" is even harder.
A part of me, upon coming to that realization, felt left out. There was this hole in my heart that couldn't be filled that everyone else so highly talked about. They found comfort in a higher authority that I could not seem to find. They had a spiritual connection to a belief that was nonexistent to me. Another part of me has a different outlook. My whole life I have believed that everything happens for a reason. It's been a mantra for every experience that has happened to me. That itself has overtaken the need for feeling something in relation to religion. I've come to terms that maybe I won't be religious for the rest of my life or maybe a belief will strike and stick with me later in life-- it's not a competition or a fight to win. It's the mindset you do life in.
