As a Christian people tend to think I have it all together. They think that my life is on the easy side and that I walk the straight and narrow path. They tend to believe my faith is stronger than anything in the world and that I can do no wrong.
Just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean my life is perfect. God doesn't give me an easy button to press when things get hard. In fact, I'm still human just like everyone else. I put my pants on the same way as everyone else and guess what? I even mess up and make mistakes.
There are times I doubt God. I hate to admit it, but I do. I struggle with talking to God. I struggle with praying. I struggle with my faith at times. I see all of these Christians who have been in the walk longer than I have and I feel discouraged. I see their great faith and their complete and utter dedication to God. They pray and they can talk to God without any problem.
Yet, here I am still wondering if God even hears me when I do talk to him. In my mind, I'm expecting to hear a voice like Morgan Freeman's come down from the sky and speak to me. Of course, that isn't going to happen and I think that's where my doubts and weakness step in and take control. I feel like I'm coming closer to God, but I can't hear him speak to me. I'm expecting the answers to appear like they do when you solve a math problem.
I have my moments when I do feel down and I wonder and I question everything, but then I remember that I have to be patient and wait on the Lord. Sometimes I fail to realize that God works in mysterious ways and his timing is not my timing. It's hard. Being a Christian is hard sometimes, but it is so worth it.
No matter how much I struggle or doubt, I know that at the end of the day I still have God on my side. He knows I'm going to stumble, and he knows I'm not perfect. He uses my weaknesses and turns them into my strengths. He gives me a strength that I never knew I possessed. He has made me new and knowing that he gives me Grace when I don't deserve it is what keeps me going.
In reality, I'm just your average college girl who is learning to survive one step at a time, but I'm learning with God on my side. I'm learning to walk with Christ. Right now it definitely feels like baby steps, but at least I'm moving forward.
For the Christians who just found God, it's going to be tough at times. You are going to wonder why am I even doing this? Just remember that God has already won your battles. You are in his hands and the trials only make you stronger. Every Christian stumbles even those who have been walking with Christ for the longest time. We are going to mess up, but at the end of the day we have God on our side, so don't give up.
