I’m the kind of girl who craves affection. I love to be loved; to believe that someone truly cares for me, I must be able to feel their love at all times.

I fell in love with a boy; a tall, handsome boy with a kind heart and loving eyes. One who makes me feel like no other ever could--and my dad even likes him too! (Who thought that was possible?) We found that we had a connection; we understand each other, we are completely comfortable with one another, and I’ve never known a person who could make me laugh as much as he does.

Going into the relationship, I knew I had only a few months until I had to let the Army borrow him. I was terrified, obviously. What if I’m not strong enough? What if I can’t handle the distance? What if I miss him too much? What if he changes? What if I do?

What if… what if… what if…

So here’s what it’s like to date a military boy:

It’s three a.m. and you can’t sleep. You have so much on your mind: school stress, friend problems, everything. You pick up your phone to call him--because that’s what you usually do. Except he can’t answer, you can’t talk to him. All you want is to be wrapped in his arms because that’s your happy place--except you can’t be. Not for 12 more weeks anyways--that is if you get to see him before he goes on to his next base. So you have to suck it up and find sleep.

It’s Saturday night and all your best friends are bringing their boyfriends on campus. You go to a women’s college so you’re in your dorm and hear “man on the hall!” every time a new beau steps foot inside the hall. All you have are pictures and sweet stories of yours, and you act happy that all of your friends get to be with their loves but don’t understand why you can’t be with yours. So you have to suck it up and find something else to do.

It’s dinnertime on a Wednesday night. You aren’t very hungry but you really need a nap so you skip out on the bland dining hall food to go catch up on your sleep. Your friends wake you sometime later and ask what’s wrong. “Why have you been in such a bad mood lately? I hate seeing you like this.” “You’ve been sleeping so much and talking so little… I’m worried about you.” And then you realize. You’re sad, yes. You miss him, yes. But you have to suck it up and live life anyways.

So that’s what you do. You live your life just like everyone else, except you’re doing it completely on your own. (With the help of your friends and family of course.) You spend your time making new friends and having as much fun with them as you can. You can focus on your studies so much more knowing that your significant other is somewhere else, busy because he’s fighting for your right to be educated. You can find yourself and better yourself--you have plenty of time after the countless weeks of laying in bed with your ice cream--and you can focus on you. Make yourself happy, find the things that you like to do, learn to love yourself enough.

And while you’re figuring out how to be a strong ass woman, you get random letters, phone calls, texts, and maybe even visits with your love.

The truth is, being so in love with a person and having to share him with the military is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

It’s also the most rewarding.

The love gets so much sweeter, you learn to appreciate the little things, and you’re strong enough for both of you when the going gets tough.

Falling in love with my tall, goofy, sweetheart of a man in the military was the best decision of my life; I thank God every day for putting me here with him.