After A Year Of Being In A Long Distance Relationship, Here Are 10 Things I Learned
Swoon

After A Year Of Being In A Long Distance Relationship, Here Are 10 Things I Learned

No matter what, it will always be worth it.

710
After A Year Of Being In A Long Distance Relationship, Here Are 10 Things I Learned
Jessica Cooper-Vastola

Going into my freshman year of college, my boyfriend of three years and I decided that we really wanted to make things work. We were nervous, scared, and sick to our stomachs thinking about just what a year apart may do to us. We knew going into this journey together would be far from easy, but luckily, we came out of it even stronger than we started.

Here’s what I learned about myself and our relationship after spending a year apart.

1. Jealousy is the enemy.

To start off, I would consider myself to be an incredibly jealous person. However, I didn’t realize how much it would truly affect me until I went away to college. Just the thought of Jackson going out and meeting new people (and possibly new girls) would put knots in my stomach, but in order to keep things working, I needed to let that jealousy go and remind myself that Jackson is incredibly selfless and committed to me.

2. Communication is key.

I cannot stress this one enough, COMMUNICATION IS KEY! There have been days where our schedules were incredibly hectic, and it was difficult to carve time out for each other, but even just little good morning and goodnight texts make a difference. If you're walking from one class to the next, try to call them on your way. You’d be surprised by what a five-minute conversation on the phone can do, especially in times of extreme stress.

3. Trust is everything.

In order for your relationship to grow, you need to be able to trust your partner. If you’re even considering trying a long distance relationship with someone you can’t trust, don’t even bother. It will end ugly, and you will get hurt. If you ever have any doubts about trusting your partner or yourself, you both need to reevaluate your relationship.

4. Long distance is expensive.

Whether your flying, driving, or taking a train to your partner, it won’t be cheap. If you plan on visiting your loved one often over the school year, save as much money as you can. Plus, if you're anything like me and love to send little gifts, that favorite candy bar your boyfriend/girlfriend loves adds up after the 6th or 7th time sending it. Save wisely!

5. Sacrifice

Long distance relationships are all about sacrifice. In order to have more time together or to speak more frequently/for longer periods of time, you need to sacrifice something. Whether it’s money, your time with new friends, or even sleep, you’ll end up losing one (or all three) of those things. Make sure you know exactly what you’re getting into before you start.

6. Putting too much pressure on your partner only results in negativity.

When you put too much pressure on your boyfriend/girlfriend to make time to speak to you, you may be pushing them away. If your partner is truly and 100% committed to making things work, I can promise you that they find any and every chance they get to talk to you, and when you make them feel bad for not putting enough into the relationship, it will only hurt you. They love you just as much as you love them, so cut them some slack.

7. Daily phone calls/Facetimes are necessary.

Although texts may seem good enough, a phone call or Facetime makes you feel so much closer to them. Just seeing them smile or laugh can turn your entire day around, and that’s something you won’t get out of a text. Even if you can just talk for 10 minutes before you both go to bed, it’s always worth it.

8. Independence is crucial.

Yes, it does feel nice to be able to sit down after a long and stressful day and cry to your partner over how much work you have in the next coming week, but the point that most people overlook in a long distance relationship is to allow yourself to grow independent and be able to do things without your partner. You cannot always rely on your partner because of how different schedules (or time zones) may be. It’s not like you can drive over to their house and cuddle your problems away, so you need to find a way to handle some situations on your own.

9. Make time for your partner, but don’t let it consume your life.

Making time for your partner is incredibly important, but when it starts to interfere with you being social or making new friends, it may hurt you. As I mentioned in number 8, you need to learn to be independent away from your partner. College is all about expanding your horizons and meeting new and potential life-long friends. Take advantage of it and don’t let your partner hold you back from making great connections with new friends.

10. In the end, it’s always worth it.

No matter what, seeing my boyfriend after being months apart is easily the most amazing feeling. Every day that we spend apart just makes me love and miss Jackson even more. Although it can get incredibly difficult sometimes, I would never want to be apart from him. I know that if we continue to love, trust, and sacrifice for each other, it will always be worth it.

Report this Content
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Dear Closeted Latina,

You were never alone.

Remember how the Latin world got rocked when Ricky Martin came out?

Keep Reading... Show less

It wasn't until I hit 23 years old that I started getting hangovers. It could've been from two glasses of wine or even a margarita at happy hour, the next day, consider me bed-bound until further notice.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because Air Travel Looks Different Now

If you have to travel, you can — you just have to take a few extra steps.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

As we are learning how to live our lives in the midst of a pandemic, one big question being travel. States that were initially labeled coronavirus (COVID-19) epicenters, like New York and New Jersey, are extra cautious in how freely residents can travel and then come home. Other states may not have the same travel restrictions as the epicenters, but one thing is for sure — no matter where you fly within the United States, that trip will look different than your usual summer vacation. Sure, it can still happen, you just need to take a few more steps to make sure your trip will go smoothly.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Top 10 Santana Lopez Performances On 'Glee' That MADE The Show

In honor of Naya Rivera's passing, I compiled a list of her best performances as Santana Lopez as "Glee".

FOX

Hearing about the tragic passing of the beloved actress, singer, and model Naya Rivera was tragic to say the least. "Glee" was a huge part of my life, Santana being one of my favorite characters, so it was shocking to hear the news.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Caribbean is a place where people go for vacation, but if you set out from a cruise ship you miss out on all the beautiful culture. Their exotic beaches are nothing without their zinging food and hospitality. Locals in the Caribbean are warmhearted with a zest to live life to the fullest.

This is exactly where most of their words and phrases come from, having a good time. I definitely enjoyed myself living in the Caribbean, but it's not always about lounging. They get work done too and I've learned proper phrases for accomplishments.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

What's Coming To And Leaving Netflix In August For Your Summer Viewing Pleasure

Just in time for another your end of summer binge-watch list.

Flower Films, Warner Bros, New Line Cinema

August is here, which means we will be losing some of our Netflix favorites but gaining some new ones. Here is a list of TV shows and movies we will be losing and gaining on Netflix during August.

Keep Reading... Show less

According to Urban Dictionary, a "simp" is defined as "a man that puts himself in a subservient/submissive position under women in the hopes of winning them over, without the female bringing anything to the table." There are many other definitions for a "simp," but basically it's shaming men who are kind to women without getting anything in return.

Let's just stop attacking nice men. Work out your own issues, don't project your shortcomings onto another man. What happened to the brotherhood? Y'all can lie for each other, but can't raise each other up? You guys can encourage murder, gang rape, and violence against women — or at least stay silent about it — but can't let your brother know it ain't cool when they bring you down for being nice to women with no expectation?

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Living With Bipolar Disorder Is An Everyday Battle, But I'm Fighting It

I went from depression, to anxiety, to bipolar disorder.

I've thought about how to write this since my diagnosis. I've thought about what kind of feelings it might bring up from my mom, former friends, and even myself. I've rewritten it a thousand times in my head, but never could quite get the words onto my notepad, but tonight I'm going to sit down and write it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Self-Love Is The Best Love, That's Just How It Is

Do you ever feel like you can't please everyone? Self-love will do the trick.

I've been feeling a little down lately, with the understanding that friends don't last forever and that I can't always please my parents. Life has been rough for everyone lately and it's not easy to stay happy and optimistic during these times. But I promise you, you are on this earth for a reason. You are here because God formed you, to love, and to be loved.

When things are tough, realize that you have yourself always. No one can take that away from you. You will always be you. No matter who you are, what you believe, or where you've been in life, at the end of the day, you are you. You can love you, therefore giving you one reason to stay here on this Earth.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Ranking 'The Umbrella Academy' Cast By Their Powers

I'm ranking the characters of Netflix's show "The Umbrella Academy" by how cool their powers are.

With the new season of "The Umbrella Academy" coming out tomorrow, I took the time to revisit the first season to refamiliarize myself with the characters.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments