Recently, I've been sitting in my bed thinking to myself about how a young, freshman college student is so stressed out and confused. I caught myself thinking about my friends and who I choose to associate myself with, who I choose to surround myself with and how each of them individually make me feel.

I caught myself being more disappointed than elated.

There were people I was closer with than I am now that made me feel better than I do now. There are people that are new in my life that I didn't appreciate enough and there are people I've known for a while that I've been taking for granted. My heads gotten so washed up and caught in the tides of the freedoms of college and how my options are varying and changing. My associates became just that: associates. People I'm not truly close to, just people I associate myself. I thought how I would view myself if I saw who I was from the outside, how I wouldn't want to hang out with me.

This brought me on to the idea: can someone be a good and a bad person?

Is it possible to possess both extremes and if so, which way do most of the people I hang out with lean? Which way do I lean?

The truth is, I think some people are bad people and some people are just kind of bad at being people. I think that a person is inherently good and bad, they just have to nourish one part and that'll be the defining characteristic. It took a lot of digging through filth and muck to determine that I've let predominantly good people fade from the back of my head and good people that are bad for me become my first thought. I've let these people take hold of who I am and how I present myself. I've let them take hold of how I see myself.

The idea that I've let someone take control of how I think struck a chord that had never been struck before. I think that's what is important: a billion people can tell you not to see or hangout with someone for one reason or another and they can be great, valid, beautiful reasons but it's never going to change anything until it strikes that specific chord. I've decided I'm done pretending like I'm happy with the life I'm living and the way I'm holding myself and giving myself the benefit of the doubt and giving those that consistently disappoint me the benefit of the doubt that they won't do it again.

I've begun to forget that even though someone is a good person, they may not be a good person for me. So, this is a breakup article to the people who have encouraged me to do anything other than compete with myself, to be better than I was yesterday, to anyone that doesn't inspire me. To the people that haven't encouraged me to listen to Kirk Franklin every morning and remind myself that I'm blessed. To the people that have encouraged me to have nights I'll forget instead of nights I'll remember: no hard feelings, but stay the hell away from me.

Although, if you think this is an article about being angry at my friends that don't do good things for me than you'd be mistaken. I've been insanely blessed with amazing people that never fail to make sure that I'm happy and content and consistently manage to keep me on my goals and looking towards the stars. This is for the strong women in my life that want to die at 27, start their own business, open up about their mental illnesses to strangers, write their own books, and willing come to class with me so I focus. This is to the men in my life that are off in different states following their dreams, make sure I'm safe and the ones right here that keep me focused on my goals by being so motivated to be successful. Never would I let a whole article, a collection of my thoughts, go to those that don't deserve my words. This ones for those that keep me happy without ever being dishonest, for the ones that still talk to me despite not seeing me. This is for the ones that I have not given enough appreciation, I'm sorry. I love you.

But most importantly, this is for me. This is for the ones that this is all about, a reminder of sorts. A reminder to stay focused on why you're here, and why you deserve better. A reminder to remember who you're real friends are and that they may not be who you think they are. A reminder to keep interrogating yourself and figuring out where your heads at.