It started with an email. I sat in my friend's dorm room, holding my shaking hands over the keyboard and slowly typing an email that would change my life. Every word became harder and harder to type. I was nervous and trembling, but this had to be done. I hit send.

My name is Tucker Verdi. I am a soon-to-be sophomore here at Florida State and a member of the fraternity of Phi Gamma Delta. I am six feet, two inches tall. I have blond hair, blue eyes, and I weigh roughly 190 pounds. I am also gay.

It took me a long time to accept this part of me. In middle school, I knew I was different but I didn't know what it was. In high school, I knew what it was but I didn't accept it. It really took coming to college for me to become comfortable with my sexuality.

But coming to college also, for me, meant joining a fraternity. I had wanted to be a part of one for as long as I could remember. I wanted the support, the friendship, and the brotherhood.

“You can't be gay and in a fraternity," I told myself. “They just won't accept it. They won't accept you."

So when I decided to rush, I knew I would have to lie. And I did. A lot. I told stories when asked of crazy hookups and funny sex stories, all with girls of course. Each lie felt like a kick to the stomach. I was hiding a part of who I was, and the mental and physical pain was exhausting. At the end of rush, I walked away without any bids. I was crushed.

That was until I was given the opportunity to interview for a fraternity that was returning to campus. Phi Gamma Delta, or Fiji, was coming back and I was offered the chance to be a founding father. It wasn't an easy decision, but I accepted my bid. But I also promised myself that I would never lie to my brothers.

As the months went by, however, I became more fearful of my brothers finding out. I had become close with them, and had gained their trust and their admiration. I didn't want to lose that. But hiding who I was, even if I wasn't outright lying, made me anxious and stressed. I started to struggle academically and I would stay up all night worrying about what would happen if they all found out.

So it started with an email. I decided I could not do it anymore. I could not hide who I was. If that meant leaving Fiji, it was what had to be done. I typed an email to my president in late February telling him that I was gay and that I was leaving Phi Gamma Delta. I was at peace.

Later that night, he responded. As I read each word, I cried. It was not at all what I was expecting. He accepted me. He told me that he didn't work so hard, and that we all didn't work so hard, to build a fraternity that would exclude anyone because of their sexuality, or their race, or their religion. So long as I wanted to, I would be a brother.

The relief is indescribable. In that moment, I realized what brotherhood meant. It means support, acceptance, care, and celebration of every member. It means that you are not alone, even when you are made to feel that way by the world. Your brothers will always have your back.

Fraternities have a reputation for being closed-minded and ignorant. I challenge that. Not all of my brothers know (though they will I guess when they see this), but the ones who do have taught me what it means to be a Fiji, and what it means to be a man of Greek life.

And to those out there who are afraid they won't find acceptance in their fraternity, I say open your heart. Open your heart when you're ready and your brothers will open theirs.

If any man in Greek life out there would like to talk, you can reach me at tverdi12@gmail.com and I promise everything remains between you and I. Just remember, you are not alone.