What's the first thing you think when you meet a new person? As soon as someone comes near me my mind starts filling with questions. I wonder what they're thinking at that moment, what their day has been like so far, where they came from. Before I open my mouth to speak with someone I'm already searching for clues about them. Maybe that's why I abhor small talk. Who cares what the weather is like, anyway? In fact, I hate small talk so much that sometimes it keeps me from initiating conversation in the first place. There have been so many times that I've sat down next to someone on a bus or in a classroom and wanted to talk with them, but remained silent because I dreaded having a superficial conversation. Funny thing is, the more I force myself to speak anyway, the more I realize that other people are often going through the same thing. Sure, the first few minutes can be awkward, but once you've broken the ice you usually end up finding out all sorts of interesting things and meeting some fascinating people.

I once did a little experiment about friendliness. I noticed that few people greeted me as I walked by them on the sidewalk, or even made eye contact with me. For a week I committed to greeting everyone I passed with a smile. Honestly, it was pretty uncomfortable at first. I think I was afraid that people didn't want to make contact, but that's not what I found. The more I started openly noticing people, the more I found them to be friendly as well. After just a week, some of those same people walked by me with a "Good morning!" before I had the chance.

I hear it come up all the time, this idea that no one is friendly anymore, but what if we're all just self-conscious? What if those "unfriendly" people you walk by are just like you, waiting for someone to notice them? I can't say I've stuck with my experiment every day since, but it definitely gave me some perspective to work from. Instead of assuming no one wants to connect with each other, I've started viewing people as willing and friendly conversationalists just waiting for someone to take the first step. Sometimes people don't want to talk or their having a bad day. Honestly, I have times where I feel the same way. But for the most part I've found nothing, but benefits to being an initiator. Between politics, religion, and culture there are a crazy number of public debates going on right now, so chances are you're going to run into people you don't agree with. The trick is to hear them out without getting angry and try to understand where they're coming from. At the end of the day, you still get to decide what you think, but at least you'll have been exposed to a different perspective and hopefully make someone's life just a little bit happier.