Relationships make up a large part of our daily lives and help shape who we are. We have an internal tendency to take on the habits of those close to us, from phrases to physical gestures. On top of this, we, of course, grow an attachment to those people, an attachment that can range from family member to friend to significant other.

You anticipate your daily interactions. You anticipate talking to them on the phone or seeing them. You anticipate giving them a hug. You anticipate their presence in your life.

When that relationship ends, no matter how delicately or horrendously it reaches the finish line, you will not be the same once they’re gone. There will be things that you do and say that remind you of them, and it will hurt. Your chest will ache and you’ll curse yourself.

The memories of both good and bad will flood back for the simplest of reasons. The old songs won’t sound the same, and you’ll either change the station as fast as you can or listen in silence, tears in your eyes either way. You’ll find different routes home and new restaurants to go to.

Or maybe you’ll drown yourself in all of these memories until you numb yourself completely to them.

Anything to spare yourself from the memories that still sting like hand sanitizer in a paper cut, or ache like a knife to the chest.

I hate to break it to you, but the truth is that you won’t be the same again. Your world has been shaken and altered, and only you can find your way out of the rubble. Only you can decide which parts of you need to stay for you to survive and love yourself in the wake of it all. Only you can decide which parts still hurt too much for you to stick to. You’ll reshape yourself in order to survive.

You won’t be the same, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never be okay again.

You made it through the relationship, and you’re here at the end, but that doesn’t mean that this is your end. There are so many people who love and support you, and they will help you through this.

They’ll check on you when you miss those daily interactions with that old someone. They’ll stay on the phone with you as long as you need them to so you don’t try calling that old familiar number. They’ll hold you when you’re crying. They’ll stand behind you as you recreate yourself, and they’ll keep you out of harm’s way the best that they can.

You’ll find the new you forever.

It will be hard, and you will hurt, but the growth will be well worth the pain. You’ll be new and improved, and that love in your heart that the other person turned down (or you decided they weren’t worthy of) can and will be better appreciated by someone else, if you give it time. There will always be a piece of your heart and mind dedicated to that person who isn’t there anymore, but they’ll stop throbbing if you wait it out.

Just remember that you’ll be okay in time, even if you’re only partially the person you were before.