Growing up with an older brother has not always been easy. From fighting over who will have the middle cinnamon roll on Saturday mornings to throwing your favorite stuff animal on the roof, sibling rivalry has (for the most part) consumed a majority of my childhood.
But as adulthood creeps up on us both- the juvenile fighting has slowly faded and oddly enough, a friendship has formed. Secrets that were once locked up in a vault began to surface. Time spent together became voluntary rather than forced. And eventually, we started to like one another.
But, even though being close with the big bro does come with its benefits, it doesn’t mean everything suddenly becomes all rainbows, butterflies, and slumber parties. After all, he is my older brother.
If you’ve experienced this same strange evolution of friendship- you’ll understand these perks and pitfalls that come with it.
Perks:
1. Hang out buddy
Some siblings might cringe at the idea of spending “quality time”-- but you’ve come to realize just how similar you actually are. Whether you’re going to concerts or cooking Tasty recipes, hanging out together is fun and comfortable. You don’t feel the pressure to entertain them or keep them happy (when has that ever been the case? LOL)—all you two need is Netflix and a glass of wine to have a good time. Then there are the crazy nights—where the Big Bro challenges you to go shot-for-shot and you both end up dancing on a table at that random Thai bar. (Good Times!) Regardless, hanging out, reminiscing of simpler times, and recalling childhood memories has become the cornerstone of your adulthood bond.
2. Knows you better than anyone
He grew up in the same house, just 5 steps away from you. So, of course, he knows what exactly pisses you off and what makes you laugh like crazy. He witnessed your awkward phase and that time you got the stomach flu and looked like death – so when it comes to secrets, there’s not much to hide. You know each other’s quirks and pet peeves, which you stick in your back pocket until it’s time to crack a joke at the other's expense—because that’s your job as a sibling. At the end of the day, you are proud of each other and accept each other no matter what.
3. Your support system
You might be on different paths or have totally different ways of expressing your feelings, but one thing is for sure—He’ll always be there for you. He’s paved the adulthood road for you and has felt the same confused and lost feelings that come with growing up. Whether you’ve had your heart broken or are struggling to figure out your plan for after college, your big bro provides much-needed insight and support to pick you back up onto your feet. He reminds you to enjoy being young and helps you become the best version of yourself.
Pitfalls:
1. Brutally honest
Because he knows you better than you know yourself sometimes, tough love seems to be the regular tactic. He knows exactly what ignites your insecurities and causes you to question yourself. And while you appreciate him keeping it real with you and telling you how it is, sometimes you just don’t want to hear it. Yes, he is honest, but that does not mean it doesn’t still hurt.
2. Acts like your parent
Since you grew up in the same household, it’s only natural that you’ve inherited qualities that you wish you didn’t. In my case, he takes after my mom. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom. But she is just that, my mom. Sometimes he feels the need to protect me and tell me how to live my life. On the one hand, he offers amazing advice, but on the other, he’s telling me which classes I should take, how I should spend my free time, and gives me lectures when I procrastinate. Overall, he means well, but, despite his efforts, he can never truly understand what exactly it is you’re going through.
3. Embarrassing moments go public
Yes, it is nice that your big bro accepts you in the midst of everything in your past. However, this is a double-edged sword. Eventually, he will bring to surface those horrific middle school pictures on Facebook or show videos to your friends of you singing to yourself when you wanted to be a singer (why that was recorded is still mind-boggling). Whatever it is, those embarrassing moments will be made public. Be prepared to give multiple arm punches.
Although there are downsides to being close to your older brother, the perks far outweigh the pitfalls. You are family by blood and best friends by choice. You wouldn't have it any other way.
