Looking back on my childhood, I don’t remember much about the time when my parents were married. Looking back, I don’t remember much of my childhood at all. I was five years old when they separated, and eight when the divorce was finalized. What I do remember though, is packing over-night bags, splitting the holidays, meeting new step-parents, adapting to new families, and the sadness.
At age five, I didn’t understand what divorce was, I didn’t know my family wasn’t going to be like the other kids at school anymore. I didn’t live with both parents in one home anymore, I lived with my grandparents. I knew daddy wasn’t going to be coming home anymore, but I didn’t know why, and that he loved my sister and me. I didn’t know I would be getting step-parents, or new brothers and sisters. I didn’t know that every day, would be an ongoing battle, for the rest of my life.
In 2003, the divorce rate was 3.8 per 1000 people.
It wasn’t very common, and I got made fun of for it at school. None of my friend’s parents were divorced, they didn’t understand what I was going through at home. They didn’t understand why I was so upset and angry all the time. I started to go to therapy, it didn’t help much. My grades in elementary school were going up and down, I was becoming angrier with every passing day. 
These emotions will follow me into my teenage years, and even into my young adult life. Trying to cope with the stress and confusion of separation, the trust issues, the anxiety, and the constant fear that everyone will leave, these feelings scramble your mind up like the eggs your mom used to cook for breakfast.
Having divorced parents, means scheduled custody or visitation. I couldn’t participate in a lot of the activities I wanted to because schedules didn’t match up. This caused me to stick to the same old things and become shy in some ways. I had friends at dad’s house, and friends at mom’s house. I never really saw my friends from dad’s house when I was at moms, and vice versa. What happened at dad’s house stayed at dad’s house, and what happened at mom’s house, stayed at mom’s house.
A lot changed when I got step-parents, I not only got another mom and dad, I got a whole set of siblings to go along with them. It’s not easy, it’s quite difficult, trying to adjust to someone who is “trying not to replace said parent” but is “trying to be said parent.” We didn’t all get along, there were arguments, hurt feelings, crying, misunderstandings, and a lot of built up anger. It’s not that we don’t like you, it’s just hard to adjust to the thought of someone else being with our parents.
I don’t think I could ever be more thankful for the step-parents I got stuck with. They truly became parents to me, and I love them so much. My step dad has changed my life in such a way that I am who I am, because of who he is as a person, and I am so very thankful.
My new siblings, were also quite the adjustment. I finally had a few people around my age to play with and hang around with. Two younger brothers, and two older sisters were now thrown into my crazy life in 2007, they weren’t just someone to play with, they knew exactly what I was going through, because they too were going through it. We grew up together, we watched each other succeed, fail, fall, and get back up. There have been fights, harsh words, make-ups, hugs and forgiving. I wouldn’t trade them for the world, no matter how annoying they are.
I will continue to push on, even when the days seem too hard. I will learn to trust even when all I’ve known about trust is that it isn’t guaranteed. I will learn to be understanding. I will let people leave me, because I know that if its meant to be, it will be. I will stay strong and persevere when someone brings up my past, because I know that my story is a learning opportunity for others.
I will learn to love like how my mother loved me.
