If You Can Make Spontaneous Plans With Friends, You Are Not A Busy Person

If You Can Make Spontaneous Plans With Friends, You Are Not A Busy Person

So please, do not tell me that you are too busy to do anything school-related.

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I have always considered myself to be a busy person but it was not until this semester that I realized that I could get busier. The past semesters, I was always able to make plans with friends and just hang out without having to worry about all the things I had to do. This semester, it actually stresses me out how busy I am. The worst part about it though was that I didn't realize I was busy until someone told me they were too busy to do an assignment for a class.

Get this. I am a full-time student in my last year of college. I had two jobs up until a month ago when I had to quit one in order to prevent burnout; now I only have one. In the past two weeks, I worked over 70 hours. I did not have one day off over my fall break, but that's fine. Who needs a break, am I right? Along with school and a job, I have committed myself to one extracurricular activity, which is Pep Band. Weekly, I spend anywhere from 2 - 10 hours in band, and that is just the hours where I am at school doing band. I spend a lot of time at home with band as well, especially since I found myself to be in a leadership position, where I have a lot of responsibility.

Okay, so that is me. Now, the girl who told me she was too busy to do one little task for class (that really would have just taken her 5 minutes to do in reality) just started college and goes on spontaneous trips with friends all over the state of Arizona. Now, that is great for her. I am glad she gets to experience life like that but if you can go on trips with friends, you are not busy enough.

Being busy is not being able to go on trips with friends. When my friends want to hang out, we have to plan it a month in advance because we are busy people and it is more common than not that the plans end up falling through because something pops up. Being busy is not something that you brag about; I don't know anyone that wants to be busy all the time. Plus, you are going to school to get an education, how can you be too busy for school? Shouldn't school be the top priority?

Being "too busy" to finish out a class for the semester (so you drop the class) but then partying every weekend doesn't make sense. If you can go out on a Friday night, every single Friday, you are not busy. If your friend/roommate wakes you up at 4 am on a Saturday morning and says "pack a bag, we are going to Flagstaff" and you just get up and go, you are not busy. If you can find the time to do all that, then you can find the time to go to class or do an assignment. You're not "too busy", so don't tell me that you are.

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An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

Some people come into your life and change you forever—thanks, bestie.
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Dear best friend,

I wasn't expecting you when God placed you in my life. I had my friends. I had my people. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of new meaningful friendships because I had the ones I needed, and it didn't seem like I really needed anybody new.

Thank God that was false. Sometimes you meet people and you just know that you're going to be good friends with. Sometimes you meet people and you realize that there is no such thing as chance. I think God has a funny way of making it seem as if the things that happen to us are by chance, but honestly, that’s a load of crap. If the biggest moments of our lives were left up to chance, then I believe that would make God out to seem as if he didn’t care. It would make it seem as if He was truly abandoning me and making me face some of my most important seasons fully isolated. But you, best friend, are a true testament to the fact that God doesn’t just leave such important aspects up to chance. Thank you for taking a chance on our friendship, and thank you for allowing me to take a chance on what I didn’t realize would be the most impactful friendship in my entire life.

Thank you for being real with me. Thank you for not sugar coating things. Thank you for telling me when I have a bad attitude. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes. Thank you for supporting me in my decisions, even if it isn’t always the decision you would make. Thank you for wanting the best for me, and for making that your true intent behind the words that you say to me, whether they be constructive criticism or encouragement.

Thank you for being a goof with me. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for seeing the importance of our friendship. Thank you for making time in your schedule for us to just sit and do homework, eat Mexican food, or sit on the porch and listen to music that emotionally wrecks you.

You’re one of a kind. You’re a shoulder to lean on. You’re a safe place. You’re a free spirit. You’re rough and tough, but your heart melts for the people you love and it’s obvious. You’re more than meets the eye. You are worth getting to know. You are worth loving. You pursue people. You are passionate about your future. You are everything that a person needs, and I really thank God that for some reason you continue to choose to be in my life. Thank you for literally dragging me up my mountains of fear when I want to stay exactly where I am at and wallow in the sadness. You bring joy—true joy—wherever you go. You are my best friend, confidant, and biggest fan. You will be the Maid of Honor, Godmother, and fun Aunt.

I used to think lifelong friendships weren’t really a thing. It just seemed like people always grew apart and forever was never a point that was attainable. Best friends forever is a cliché phrase that is continuously overused nowadays (sometimes, I even used to make light of it), but thanks for making that a reality. You are truly the best friend I could have asked for. So thank you for it all. You make life more fun, and I couldn’t thank God more for making an incredible human, friends with me.

I love you, pal!

JQ

Cover Image Credit: Julia Dee Qualls

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Stop Assuming Your Queer Friends Are Going To End Up Falling For You

News flash: if you're my friend, the chances of me falling for you are slim to none.

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Ever since I came out my senior year, I've encountered bumps of my friendships due to my sexuality. I think people understand gay, lesbian, and bisexual identities rather well. However, there are other members of the LGBTQ+ community that isn't as understood as well.

I identify as pansexual but start using the term queer. Essentially, I don't have a preference if someone identifies as female or male. When it comes to love and relationships, I care about the quality of the person and if I'm getting the love and respect I deserve.

However, to some of my friends, they seemed to become afraid. They distanced themselves in our friendships in fear I would end up falling for them.

News flash: if you're my friend, the chances of me falling for you are slim to none. You are my friend for a reason. If I liked you, I would honestly be too nervous to talk to you.

It's nice to know to have that kind of self-confidence where you think everyone has a crush on you. That's the attitude to have because you are a pretty great person. However, sorry to break it to you, but you just are not my type.

There is absolutely no reason to cut off a friendship just because you don't understand. Your queer friends would probably like you to ask questions. It can be a sign you care about them and showing support. There is nothing wrong with asking questions either. When you're in class and you don't know anything, then you ask a question. When you are getting to know someone, you ask questions. Even if you knew this person for a while, ask away!

I think there is a stigma of not knowing something and feeling embarrassed. However, it shouldn't be this way. We should embrace the unknown, learn, and grow from it. It's 2019. It's all about being open-minded to differences. We have to do better for the next generation.

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