Ever since I was little I wanted a big sister. Someone to look after me, to guide and teach me. Of course my parents helped but it was not the same. Yes they helped but not like a big sister could. I even adopted one of my younger aunts, who I believe to be about 24, as a surrogate big sister to look after me. She easily became someone I could confide in and ask advice for. But internally, even now I long for someone to map out the way for me, someone whose footsteps I can follow in. Some dreams don't come true for the oldest child.
I also understand that my seven younger siblings don't have this longing, they have me. I try to be sure to make a good path for them. I try to teach them right from wrong. When I'm in charge and something goes wrong I don't let them see the panic I feel, because even after about 7 years of babysitting, I still panic at the first sight of blood. I help with homework and talk about how I struggled with the same subjects. One of my favorites was helping one of my siblings pick her classes because I knew what that teacher was like and how the year would go. I got good grades because I wanted them to be better, I wanted them to do better. In a way I have grown to view my siblings as my children, or heathens, there really is no in between.
The biggest reason why being a big sister is so important to me is because I get to see life through their eyes. I get to live as a sixteen year old, a fourteen year old, a thirteen year old, a twelve year old, a ten year old, an eight year old, and a seven year old all over again. I get to see if they think like me or if they think differently. I've learned so much from my siblings and I like to think that they have learned much from me as well.
Even now when I'm in college I let them know that everything they are struggling with is worth it and that they will make it here someday. I want to be their biggest inspiration, and that is why being a big sister is so important.
