Over the past four years I have never been alone. I have always been in a relationship. I started off my college career in a relationship and spent two and half years with someone who quickly became my best friend. I thought I had the rest of my life planned out, but like most other college relationships, we slowly drifted apart. After that I quickly jumped into another one for the summer and another one after that. I didn't think twice about what I was doing or why things weren't working out. I slowly started to lose myself. After, I got into a very bad situation and lost something that I never hope to lose again. Once I had thought I hit rock bottom, I felt completely alone, but little did I know it was the best thing that could ever happen to me. Here's what I learned:
You are never truly alone.
It's the times when you think you are alone that bring out your true friends. The people that stick around through all of the crazy emotions and situations without judgments are the kind of people you want around for your whole life. Luckily, I am blessed enough to have found those people. On the other hand you also weed out the toxic friends. Some people never show their true colors until you are going through a hard time. Some people do things that you would never even think of doing yourself or think of them doing until there is stress on the friendship. But when these things happen you just have to see the blessing in finding out who they really are.
You are never truly happy until you are happy being alone with yourself.
It took me years to realize that I was so dependent on other people. In my time alone I not only found my true friends, but I also learned so much about myself. I learned how to depend on myself and love the way that I am.
It's OK to ask for help.
Although it is important not to be completely dependent on other people, sometimes you do need help, and it's 100 percent OK to ask. Asking for help does not mean that you are crazy; nobody can do everything in life by themselves. Everybody needs a little help every now and then!
And lastly, you will never understand every situation you go through in life.
Not everything is fair, and not everything will always make sense. Because of this being so hard to understand, you will probably ruin some friendships you didn't intend to. When this happens all you can do is apologize.
So to the relationship/friendship I ruined, if you are reading this I am truly sorry for everything that happened and I am sorry that you don't understand. I was caught up in everything that was happening around me and I lost myself. Just know that you really did mean a lot to me. I felt like I was starting to feel comfortable with opening up to you and with telling you everything; that's why it was a hard loss for me.
After you apologize all that's left to do is move forward. It is so important not to dwell on your past and your mistakes. You can't control everything in life, and understanding that will make being happy so much easier.
Being alone isn't always easy, but in my experience, I found out you learn so much about yourself that makes it all worthwhile. Yes, you will lose people, some from other people's mistakes and some from your own, but just remember that life goes on and tomorrow can always be better!
