The other day I was talking about love to someone and how I love differently for people in my life like we all do. There is the love we have for our friends, for our parents, for our significant other, but the love I have for my two sisters is much different. I would do literally anything in this world for the both of them. I guess that is not saying much but there is no one else in my life that I would do anything for.
I think that is in part what it means to be a sister. When I was younger, I hated my biological sister. Mom would agree that I would do anything and everything in this world to get rid of her. I was sitting on her head with a blanket over her in her crib at 3 years old if I was even that old when that took place. And to think, when my dad remarried, why in the hell would I want another sister? If someone told me at 3 or 4 years old that I would be getting another sister, I am sure I would react as if my world had just ended.
But it hasn't, whatsoever. Because of them, my world is so much bigger. I know no matter what happens to me or what I go through, my sisters will always be there. The love and care I have for them is by choice and not circumstantial, it is so unconditional. I have never met two more annoying people that easily fill my heart the way that they do. I even remember picking on my sister growing up but as soon as anyone would say anything about her, it was over for them. Now that we are older, nothing about that has changed. I can say anything I want about them two, but as soon as someone else does, I get so defensive.
Defensive is actually an ongoing feeling you have when you are a sister. You get defensive when their lover hurts them, when a friend betrays them, or even when your parents do something to them that isn't favored. You get defensive when they make a bad grade in school, kind of like the parent blaming the teacher for their poor teaching style. You get defensive when anything in their life goes wrong because you know how wonderful they are, so nothing should go wrong?
Being a sister means wanting the best for them no matter what. Honestly, I want the best for everyone in my life but them two, it's much different. I want them to be two of the greatest women I have ever had the chance to know. I want every single dream of their's to be fulfilled even if they don't know what they are yet. I want them to find a love that loves them the same way that I love them. I want them to find comfort in everything around them the same way they both bring comfort to those around them. I want them to find people and places that bring them so much light and happiness. When the time comes, I want my children to go to them for everything they feel uncomfortable to talk to me about. I don't want to see them struggle with school, with life, or with things like forgiveness and happiness.
Being a sister to me is wanting more for them than I want for myself. When I think about all the great things in my life I never forget to remember them two and the love I have for them.
And since you two will be reading this, I love you both so much. I can be one of the most selfish people I know even when it comes to you two, but the love I have for you guys is different. I hardly ever tell you guys how much you mean to me unless I am drunk or just having a weird meltdown, but this article was long overdue. I would do anything in this world for you both and I am so lucky and so happy to have two people in my life that teach me so much. Because of you two, I have learned what it means to love unconditionally and forgive. I know what it means to be vulnerable, transparent, and to want more for others than for myself. I hope that you two find love in your life that loves you in the same way that I love you.