1. I've had to try to love people I don't like.

Love God and love your neighbor are the two greatest commandments of Christianity. They sound great in theory but they're actually really hard to do in practice. Day-to-day complications and nuances inevitably lead to conflict. We work with difficult people and have to interact with people we fundamentally disagree with or simply don't get along with.

The other week, I had a co-worker tell me straight to my face that he didn't like me, and then proceed to criticize my beliefs and come at me for my life choices for the rest of the night. I didn't want to spend my whole night listening to unrelenting, accusatory attacks on my character.

A younger version of me would have been fine and told him to go fuck yourself. But since I became a Christian a year and a half ago, reacting like that is something you have to refrain from. The mark of how good of a Christian you are is how much you love your enemy. If I can't be better at doing that, then I might as well have never changed to begin with. When we parted ways, I hugged my co-worker and wished him the best of luck, checking in on him frequently.

2. I've had a lot less free time and time to do work.

I have had to occupy so much of my time going to church service, listening to sermons, and reading Scripture that unfortunately, I have less time to write, less time to create lesson plans for my classes, and less time to hang out with my friends. One could say that being a Christian is a massive time commitment and a lot of work, and we're better off not being Christians to save everyone's time.

However, for me at least, it's been worth it. Rather, being a Christian has aligned my spirituality with my work, and that has simply made everything so much more meaningful. Being a Christian gives freedom, and now I feel I have much more freedom to be open and vulnerable with friends, to explore new topics in writing and to be more open with my thoughts, to prioritize lesson planning. I may have less time, but the time I do spend on work, play, and rest have much more meaning knowing this is God's plan for me, instead of rejecting it.

3. Looking at my sins has made my self-worth plummet.

Every day as a Christian involves reminding yourself of what a piece of shit you are, and looking at your own sin usually doesn't feel good. You start to realize how many terrible things you do, and how you don't live up to the Jesus standard on a daily basis. Silent confession is a time in church to admit what you've done wrong in the church, but that's something, as a Christian, I've done a lot more of on a daily basis. Self-worth and self-confidence is something that went out the window once I became a Christian, but having a God that saves and forgives has allowed me to re-find that in Christ.

Because I'm such a terrible person and can't ever live up to Jesus's standard, I can't judge. I'll devote my life to try and never lose hope because Jesus never did.

4. I've had to bend over backward helping people who need it.

A friend and co-worker of mine needs a ride back to her place occasionally, and the issue is that I have to drive 30 minutes in the opposite direction of where I live to take her there. I drove her from Baltimore City north into Baltimore County. When I was younger and not a Christian, I may have asked for compensation or a favor in return. But I have not. I've learned that the Christian way is to, after doing something good, disappear and never mention it again.

5. I have to have an answer to all of my friends' bad experiences and negative views of Christianity.

One thing my friends with bad experiences and antagonistic views toward Christianity don't understand is that I'm not a stand-in for their bad experiences with the Church. These friends' views are valid, but placing me as a symbol for every bad thing they've experienced in a church is awfully inconvenient to manage. But I know that everyone has their own unique walk with their faith. I can't change their minds, but I can live in a way that makes my friends ask "there's something about you, and I can't put my finger on it," to draw them to Christ instead of preaching at them.