You walk into a restaurant and magically end up at at a table, seemingly to have been made just for you. You study the menu and just when you’ve made up your mind, boom, someone dressed in all black appears to take your order. The waiter disappears with all of your hopes and desires and you are left with only your thoughts and whoever is with you. You chat away, the thought of your food lingers in the back of your head like a distant and fond memory. Then, just as your stomach reminds you of the absence of food and your eyes wander longingly towards the kitchen, a steaming plate of whatever masterpiece you ordered lands in front of you. You gorge and just as you take your last bite, a check appears on your table, positioned like a beacon. Once it’s filled, it disappears again without a trace. Magic.

Being someone who has worked in a restaurant, I can definitely tell you it isn’t sorcery or witchcraft that runs a restaurant, it is hardworking people getting paid to undertake the dehumanizing task of feeding you and cleaning up after you.

So who are these humble beings? Here are the most common profiles of the type of people serving you.

“The Youngin”

“Youngins” are just that: young. They are probably in their last year of high school or working in-between college classes. Likely, it is their first job and they’re just trying to make some pocket change.

“The Wandering”

This restaurant employee most likely walked by the restaurant, saw a help wanted sign, applied on a whim and decided to take the job until they figure out their next move. Also, they have usually hitch-hiked at least once in their lifetime.

“The Starry-Eyed”

A Charming Hollywood-Bound actor or performer of some kind is just waiting for their big break.

“The Part-Time Service Tycoon”

This hardcore mogul is working part-time at the restaurant you happen to be at, the cafe down the street, the pizzeria around the corner, and your favorite brunch spot on the weekends. They are motivated and strong, and their motto is “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” and also making more money than you. Respect.

“The Lifers”

“Lifers” are in it for life, full-time until the end of time. Tending to be a little bit older and you can sense their seniority amongst the other employees. These understated heroes tend to be recovering from some sort of unfortunate turn of events such as not having the opportunity to extend their education when they were younger and are trying to support their family to make ends meet.

“The Move-Up”

This aspirational being always has their eyes set forward, they’re determined to move up in the restaurant to managerial status. Once they’re there, they want to take over the restaurant, and then the business and then the world with admirable ambition.

Now, you must remember not every employee fits into one of these categories and everyone has their own unique story and background that has brought them to the restaurant business. But one thing is almost certain: no restaurant employees would be there if they weren’t getting paid and every employee is disgusted by customers who treat them as if they are subhuman. So, for the sake of the hardworking magician providing you with the best thing in the world (food), look at them when you speak to them, be kind, and for peat-sake, do not request to change tables after you’ve been served. The restaurant will spontaneously combust, I promise you.