My name is Samuel Berger, and this is my job, I explore restaurants looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty. Hard working servers who earn an honest living doing the kinds of jobs that make civilized life possible for the rest of us -- now get ready to get dirty. It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

1. The only running you do is to tables.

Working doubles, "clopens," and the pure exhaustion working in a restaurant causes makes going to the gym or, at least, finding the strength to push yourself to workout all that much harder. You have to run food to so many tables that you convince yourself (and are probably right) that you have run a few miles in a single shift with all the food you have ran. Anyone can just run endlessly on a treadmill, but try carrying trays upon trays of hot food through a maze of tables, now that's a real workout.

2. Dead food is the best food.

"I am so sorry sir let me take that away and get that changed for you right away." As disgruntled as the guest may be that their order was incorrect or not to their liking is just as happy you and the rest of the kitchen will be to receive dead food. Free food up for grabs what can be better?

3. Your non-slips have become your best friend and enemy at the same time.

Mandatory and necessary, but oh so uncomfortable and ugly. Just about everyone in the food industry probably owns a pair and just about everyone in the food industry's feet is killing them after their shift from these bad boy's. Running food all day can really take a toll on your feet and these non-cushioned non-slips don't help. Though they may squeeze and compress, you can't help but be thankful you went the day without completely slipping and dropping all of your table's food.

4. You have lost track of holidays because it is not like you will get off for them anyway

Easter, Fourth of July, and New Year's are just about as imaginary in the food industry as Santa Claus (sorry to break it to you). As hard as it is to comprehend why people are eating out on these days, it is even harder knowing you will be working those days with no way out, and without many months notice.

5. You constantly have numerous pens, but can never find one when needed'

It seems as if you find yourself going out and buying more pens, at least, every other week. In the food industry pens are equal to a pack of gum in elementary school. As soon as one person finds out you have one then everyone is asking you for a piece.

6. Co-workers also become Netflix and chill partners.

With the amount of hours, you spend at work your social life becomes extremely limited. With a limited social life, a romantic life can be hard to come by, so those in the restaurant business tend to form relationships with one another.

7. You know that 86 is not just another number.

For those of you NRRP (non-restaurant regular people) out there 86 is a term for when a restaurant is out of something. This is also a number that can quickly turn a happy table into a group of complainers. Zero to a hundred real quick.

8. The cooks have become some of your best friends.

As much as servers hate to admit it, the main reason they can make a living is because of the cooks. The closer you are with the cooks the better it is. This means you can get things for your table perhaps a bit quicker, and they can hook you up with some food when you want it.

9. You know what the word "clopen" means.

"Hey, if you can close tonight and come in tomorrow early to open that would be great, thanks." For you NRRP out there a "clopen" is when you are scheduled to close the restaurant and then open it the following day.

10. Smiling through the pain is your hidden talent.

Whether you are running on fumes at the end of a 50-hour work week or dealing with just a down right terrible table, you know the number one rule is to always have a smile on your face and appear friendly. Service with a smile is always key.

11. Your closet consists of more work clothes than regular clothes.

Going out clothes? What is the point of even owning anything other than work shirts when you are always out. From all the years of serving you have completed, you have compiled quite the collection of work shirts.

12. The word double means something completely different to you.

For an NRRP the word double is a blessing. Would you like double meat, I can double your money for you, and Derek Jeter just hit a double are all examples of positive uses of the word double. For those in the restaurant business, the word double means game over.

13. You could try out for the circus and make it because juggling food has become a talent.

A full rack of ribs, a tray of chicken, a porterhouse steak, three side dishes, a sundae and a water with a lemon but no ice at room temperature all in your right hand and silverware in your left.

14. You are hungover on Sundays, but all your guests are church goers.

Sundays, the day when it seems everyone just has to go out to eat. Sunday, the day when it seems everyone is also just a little bit hungover. These two things are a recipe for disaster for servers and those in the restaurant business.

15. You always have enough singles on you to make it "drizzle" at any moment.

When you make your living off of tips there is a good chance that you will have a decent amount of cash on you at all times. When you work in a business that has it's fair share of bad tippers, then there is an even better chance that you will be carrying around an amazing amount of singles.

16. It takes a five-page letter and/or the death certificate of a loved one to be able to request off or call out.

So you need off for a date that is three months from now, and you say it is really important? Yeah I just don't know about that, we are really going to need you that day. If you thought the SATs were hard then try requesting a day off.

17. Even though each shift is a constant battle you are thankful for your co-workers and love just how much it sucks.

Through all the bad tables, disgruntled customers, table runs, aching feet, and write-ups, it is the co-workers that get you through the day. The jokes as you sit in the kitchen, surrounding dead food like vultures and the memories you make are what make the restaurant business as great as it is.